StLSass

Posts Tagged ‘Women

I say a lot of things, particularly in regards to my dating life and what I would and would not accept in a man, however, I thought it might be time to set the record straight.

There is one thing that a man must have in order for me to fall for him, and that is the ability to make me laugh. If you can take anything I say to you and turn it back to me with a witty remark and an indignant look that elicits a laugh out of me, I probably already have a crush on you.

In addition to laughter, I also need a man with intelligence. The kind that can back me up with sound logic when my reasoning of “because it’s Gemini season” doesn’t satisfy whomever I may be explaining life to at any given moment, lol. I deal in the realm of the ether… because of that I appreciate men who are in the know on a lot of things and are there to back me up with knowledge, whether they understand my crazy logic or not.

Which brings me to another important quality: patience. I need a man that understands the importance of patience in getting to know someone and start a relationship. Someone that is willing to take their time and develop a friendship first and see where that goes. It takes a long time for me to open up to someone and for them to really know who I truly am. I have a lot of scars that I like to pretend aren’t there, and so only when I know someone truly isn’t going somewhere do I begin to open about these things. 

Lastly, I want a man that can talk to me, tell me what he is feeling, and be open enough to listen to me talk about my feelings and figure out what I’m feeling as I say it. I work things out as I speak, so I can’t have someone that takes everything I say literally. I need a man who will help me work out my thoughts, question me as I talk, and make me think about what it is that I am really trying to say.

These are the things that I want. Nothing else really matters. You would think the combo of all of these things wouldn’t be so hard to find, but it has been. I guess because I’m not always looking either. I have faith the universe will put the right man in my path when I am ready and life will make it all happen.

So cheers to the Universe for making it happen.

Happy Monday!

– Christine

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We all have issues and fears in our lives that stem from the events of our childhood. That is the condition of life. Unlearning the unknown fears of our pasts in order to stop the cycle of pain that they keep us in. That is true growth in life. I have talked openly before about having a fear of intimacy, which is a combination of the fear of abandonment and the fear of rejection. This deep seeded fear in my life stems from the events of my childhood.

My parents divorced when I was five years old, and my fears of abandonment, I believe, stem from the events surrounding my parents divorce. While both of my parents went above and beyond to be the best parents that they could be, nothing they could have done could stop the fact that I subconsciously felt abandoned by them in some way.

My fear of rejection stems from the sexual abuse that I went through, where I was constantly subjected to an abuser who rejected me publicly, but preyed on me privately. That not only created a constant feeling of being of rejected, but it also created a deep rooted feeling of worthlessness within me that, to this day, I find very hard to shake off at times.

While I have acknowledged these issues, their complications, and how they have shaped my life, I realized yesterday that I still have a lot of pain from these things that I have not yet fully embraced. You see, we are beings that are wired to run from painful situations, and to adapt in ways that keep us from ever really feeling our pain. However, those adaptions eventually start to manifest specific lessons in our life which are meant to bring us to the point where we can finally admit that the adapted version of ourselves, is not as great as the true version of ourselves, and bring us to the place where we are ready and willing to face the pain of our pasts once and for all. Another great gift of life, we are continuously being given opportunities to improve to be our best selves. HOWEVER, many times those lessons require truly diving into and FEELING our deep seeded childhood pains, and only through this process can we emerge from our cocoons to be the bright butterflies that we are.

In figuring myself out lately, I have noticed that I very much have anger and control issues. It was in trying to figure out the anger side that I brought myself to the point of realization that it was perhaps fueled by childhood pain. After continuing to think it through, it became increasingly obvious to me that I still have a lot of pain that has yet to be physically felt and released. So yesterday I sat, and for a minute I concentrated on that pit in the bottom of my stomach that comes up when I begin to think about certain parts of my childhood, the painful parts. I focused on that pain, and as it became heavier and heavier, I started to cry. Not just a weeping cry, no, as I continued to forge into the pain of my soul, I started bawling a river of tears. It was painful. Gut wrenchingly painful.

I thought about my parents and how mad I was at them for “abandoning” our family. I have never really acknowledged it to myself, but last night in my pain, I found myself so incredibly angry and in sort of this child like “Why would you do this to me??” fit of rage and pain. I continued to cry, and breathe, and sit in the pain for as long as my easily distracted mind could handle. When I started to get side tracked with other thoughts, I pushed myself back in the pain, since it was so readily available to me yesterday (due to the current planetary alignments). As I continued to sit there, I began to really understand some of the pain that I had.

I began to understand that I felt so sad and alone because I felt like no one really knew me.  When I really dug into why I felt as though no one really knew me, I began to realize it was because I felt that my mom never really knew me. I saw that my anger stemmed out of my lack of a relationship with my mother, because I felt as though I couldn’t open up to her as a child. My innate reaction as a child was to always pretend everything was fine, and to never talk about my feelings… because deep down, what I was feeling was abandoned.

What I later realized is that what triggered this avalanche of pain and feeling was actually Mother’s Day. I had a wonderful day with my mom on Mother’s Day. I actually had something I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell her or not, but as the day went on, I felt more and more at ease, and so I eventually told her. She did her mom thing, and was able to break through the wall that I always keep up that everything is okay, and she got to my truth. So what I finally realized yesterday as I worked my way through all of this pain, is that my mother has always been there for me. She has done so much for me, all in the name of being a loving and supportive mother. She was always there, she never abandoned me. My feeling of abandonment was created by my own mind as a child when for whatever rhyme or reason I decided that my mother was no longer my ally, or my confidant, or my rock, and I began to shut her out of my life. I am the one who created my own sense of abandonment by isolating my true self from my mom.

As I came to that moment of realization, that I had created this strained relationship with my mother all on my own, the phrase “I chose this life” began to set in with me.

With all of my study into astrology and my soul’s purpose and mission in this lifetime, I have come to a great understanding, which is that my soul chose this exact journey for me to learn everything I needed to learn while I am on earth. The experiences that I have grown from, experienced pain from, and found joy in, were all put in my path to further my soul’s journey. I have come to understand that I truly did chose this life path for myself. So when I felt those words come up, “I chose this life”, I just continued to repeat those words out loud, to really let that sink into my soul.

Here I am writing this the next day, and I just had the realization that this whole experience is quite literally me uncovering one of the greatest masks of my ego. It is me  coming to an understanding of how the story of what I told myself as a child vs the reality of what was actually happening, shaped my misguided belief system that kept me from enjoying the pure love and light that both of my parents have always had for me, and in turn kept me stuck in my own self created world of pain and hurt. A pain that was so deep that rather than feel it, and learn from it, I have spent many years running from it, pretending I was okay, which only served to further the cycle of pain.

Funny thing pain is like that. When we tell ourselves that we are okay, and that we are fine, when we are in fact in pain, we then are essentially creating a place for that pain to live. We give that pain life. Our life thus attracts more pain, because that is the vibe that we are sending out into the world. We drag out our own pain when we don’t face it head on. However, when we do embrace it, feel it, let it hurt, and let it out… then we learn our truth behind that pain, and then we begin to understand it. Once we understand it, we can learn from it… and finally move on and be done with that it!

The only way out is through.

There are no shortcuts in life growth.

We all must learn to stop being afraid of pain.

We should welcome it with open arms.

Sit with your pain.

FEEL it.

Let it hurt.

Let it make you mad.

Scream.

Cry.

Be sad.

Then understand what exactly it is that is making you sad.

Once you get deep into that pain, it becomes easier to see what it is that is truly the problem.

Continue asking yourself why, until you have your answer.

It will come.

“As I stand in a puddle of tears, I give thanks; for without pain, I would not grow.” – @j.ironword

Give thanks. You are exactly where you chose to be on this journey of life.

You chose this life.

The sooner we all understand that we are not victims of our circumstances, but rather the creators of our destiny; the sooner we can flip that switch and realize our amazing power to achieve anything we desire in this world comes through our ability to face our own pain and grow our way through it.

Sending so much light and love to you all this week. There is a lot of active energy going on in the world right now, and I hope that you all take that extra energy and use it to confront some of your own pain… and that through that you find great healing, so you are able to better shine your light. Our world needs your light right now. We need to stop furthering the pain. It is time.

❤ Christine

Last night marked the beginning of what I can feel is going to be an incredible journey for my life.

I hosted a Vision Board class in my home last night. For those not familiar, a vision board can be many things, but it’s purpose is to create a concrete visual of the goals, dreams, and energies that you want to attract in your life. When we have something with those things on it, where we can look at it everyday, and remain focused on what it is that we truly want in our lives, it adds to the power and momentum which is required to bring those things to fruition in our lives.

On a whim, a month or so ago, I decided that I wanted to do a vision board class. I honestly didn’t know what to expect, or how it was going to shape up, but I knew that the New Moon brings the perfect energy for manifesting goals and intentions, so I set the class for the next New Moon, created a Facebook event, invited everyone I knew, and waited to see what happened.

As time drew closer I started researching the energy of this specific New Moon, which was in Taurus. Reading about the patient, grounded energy that Taurus brings, and how it can help us to figure out where we really want to focus our time and attention in life, I knew that the class was going to have all of the energy and exact vibes that I was looking for it to create, both for myself, and for others. It truly all came together very nicely.

Teaching the class last night taught me two things about myself: 1) While I have resisted following in my mother’s footsteps of teaching thus far in my life, there IS in fact an inner kindergarten teacher inside of me who absolutely loves to create fun, inspirational, and crafty learning experiences for people. And 2) There is totally an inner guru inside of me who loves explaining the energy currents, leading meditations, and inspiring people to think outside the box.

I’ll be honest, I have so many ideas and dreams about what I want to do in this life, and lately I have been feeling a bit lost as to what it is I TRULY want to do. What is my core mission? What do I want to focus on? I have been asking myself those questions for the past few weeks trying to figure that out. The answer I have been getting is that I want to inspire people. Which, is great, but what does that mean? What does that look like?

Last night I learned what that looks like. It looks like me directing a group of very smart, inspired, forward thinking women on how to work with the current energies of universe in order to best visualize and set their focus and intentions for the month ahead. My strengths lie in three key areas: 1) Socializing/Networking 2) Planning/Organizing and 3) Outside the Box Thinking. When you combine all of those with the goal of wanting to inspire people… you get one bad ass vision board class teacher. 🙂

I definitely don’t think that vision boarding is where this stops either. It is a great class, and I will definitely be doing it again, probably on a monthly basis actually. However, what last night really showed me is that I am on exactly the right track with what I want to do with my life. I felt alive last night in the best way possible. Now all I want is to help everyone else in the world feel that same way, which is exactly what I was put here to do.

I. Can. Not. Wait!!!!

Here are some of the finished products of last night:

Visions

Stay blessed all,

– Christine

 

 

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Within all of my spiritual avenues that I have pursued lately, one thing that has shown to be a constant across all religions and spiritual practices, is the practice of tithing. Tithing is the act of giving 10% (or more, but not less), of your earnings either to the church, to a charity, or to some other person who is in need. The principle of tithing is that whatever you give away, will come back to you in ways that are much greater than money.

My mother, a devout Christian, has tithed all of my life. She has always given 10% and trusted that God would provide for us in moments when maybe that extra 10% would have come in handy for her. I have seen first hand, how her belief and faith in God to provide for our family, has continuously blessed our family in moments where we didn’t know how we would make it through.

In my Kabbalah classes, they touched upon the importance of tithing. They emphasized that 10% is the minimum level that one should contribute in order to see and receive the intangible effects that tithing inevitably brings. They noted that 10% can be hard at first, so working your way up to that amount slowly is fine, just know that 10% is really where spirit can start to work through you, and in turn where you will receive the most blessings back into your life. They also mention that giving of one’s time in community services is just as important. As a note on tithing, they teach that tithing removes any blockages that may block the flow of blessings into our lives. By detaching ourselves from the physical world, and money, and giving of it freely, we allow ourselves to be more of an open channel by which blessings can easily flow and also be received.

Growing up in a very strict Christian church, I will admit, I always felt as though when the pastor would preach on tithing and anything related to money really, that the church was a bit money hungry. It is actually one of the major things that turned me off from church. However, as I have explored my spirituality in other areas, the subject of tithing is a constant in all spiritual avenues, and after really digging into it in my Kabbalah class, I understood it much better from a perspective of how it benefits my life (vs. just the church).

At a woman’s night at my friend’s church the other night the speaker, Nicole Crank, said something which finally put tithing into perspective for me in a way where I just got it. Which was that our donation/money offering is buying us the things that cannot be bought. The thought of parting with 10% of my income is much more tolerable when I know that I am certain what I am really doing is investing that 10% into miracles and blessings.

Not only that, but seeing my money go to someone in need… that is a joy all on its own. Helping other people feels good. You just have to shift out of the mind set that it is your money. Sure, it is your money in one sense, but really it is not. All of our money comes from God and Spirit and us utilizing our innate gifts and talents to make a living. What we make, we shouldn’t see as ours, but as a gift from God. How we contribute those gifts back to the world dictates the blessings we continue to see in our lives.

Today is the new Moon in Aries, which brings focus to new beginnings and eliminating old negative thought patterns. My intention for this new moon is to start giving back more, of both my time and money. I have gotten to a place where I know that giving what I have will bless me back, and so I have no fear in parting ways with my time or money in the name of blessing others. I know it will bless me, others, and ultimately the consciousness of the world, and I am excited and grateful to see where this journey takes me.

Much love and light to you all!

– Christine

In case you missed the message of my last post, we are all slowly starting to realize that we are not actually free. So what does that mean? It means we are the forefront of a revolution. A revolution of consciousness. Man has created a network that was meant to enslave the masses. Man started with good intention, and built a world that created a world which has brought us to this moment. Which was quite far. However, man could only take us so far before his dominant quest to conquer the world turned into what we now see today. A world of chaos and disorder. A country divided. A world that doesn’t know how to love. This is the moment… where the consciousness steps in, and wakes us up, all of us, Finally.

If you are paying attention, and listening to your soul, you feel this. You know that our government is no longer serving the people, we can see this as our President signs orders that directly violate our constitution. You know that when hate, corruption, and greed, drive all of our policies.You know it when they try to take away science and reason. Meditation is no longer just something hippies do, no, it’s something people of intelligence do. Spirituality no longer means that you must answer to a religion, no, it means you are getting in touch with your inner guide. Our understanding of the system of oppression is changing as we are starting to open our eyes and see what is really going on. We are oppressed. WE are not FREE.

However, we do have rights. We have inalienable rights guaranteed by our forefathers, who set out with pure intentions in their heart to make this the land of the free, and home of the brave, because without courage and bravery in the face of the scary and unknown… we will not be free.

This was always part of the plan. The world works on a system of balance. We are at the edge of destruction… but do not fear. The creator, God, the Beauty of the Universe and it’s grand balancing scales, are about to be reset.

We are now consciously aware of the power struggle that is going on at an elite level, as we can see it loud and clear living out right now in our day to day lives of chaos and disunity.

This must change.

This change requires our conscious participation.

This change does not require violence, it requires peace, and calm.

This change requires people to understand their own limitations that have been holding them back in life, and thus depriving this world of their precious gifts and talents.

This change requires us to admit our own faults, and agree to work on them.

This change happens… when we all work on ourselves.

This change happens when we resolve all of our own issues within and return to being spiritual beings capable of radiating light and love.

As we heal ourselves, as we look within and advance our own consciousness, the consciousness of our world, will follow.

This is our path forward. Global conscious awareness is the next phase of man kind. As we usher in the ultimate all knowing beings that reside within each of us… then that is when we achieve peace on Earth.

We are at an incredible time of human life.

The Enlightenment Period.

How. Fucking. Cool.

– Christine

 

 

Last night into today is the New Moon in Aquarius. This new moon represents an opening where we can manifest energy to free us from our limitations, free us from chaos, and free our minds from all of the beliefs that we have held that keep us back in life.

Let me ask you, what does the word freedom mean to you?

To me, freedom has always meant that I have the ability to say and do what I want, I can act freely and of my own will. However, I have started to notice, that according that belief… we are not actually free, at all.

It’s amazing to me that I am just now realizing this, when it has been so simple, and right in front of us all this whole time.

True freedom, would be the ability to actually do or say whatever we want, without limitation. Without consequences imposed on us from laws of society. If I wanted to have an abortion, in a land of real freedom, it would be my prerogative to do so. If I wanted to kill a man, in the land of true freedom, I could do so, and only have my own conscious to answer to for it. If I wanted to

In the land of true freedom… laws would not be necessary. Laws dictate what we can and cannot do. That is not freedom.

Yes, we have more free will in America than most countries are afforded, but still, we are not free people. What makes that realization slightly harder to take, is the way our limited freedom has been so idolized. America Land of the Free, Home of the Brave. How could we not be a free people, I mean it’s in our slogan??

I know, some of you may say, well we can’t have pure freedom for everyone, that would be chaos. But would it?

Man is born seeking a balance between right and wrong. It is human nature. We seek to be balanced beings. In our society that balance of right and wrong is actually unjustly thrust upon us by societies laws which is what creates internal chaos, and therefor more outward chaos in our wold. If we truly lived in a world of freedom and had the ability to govern our own decisions, according to our own right from wrong… society would inherently become less chaotic. There would be less rebellion and more unity.

We all have different ideas and different beliefs, and in a world of true freedom, those differences would be celebrated. Looked upon not as someone else being wrong to your right, but rather seen as a different way to look at a situation. More light would be shed on things in a quicker manner if we weren’t so concerned with the insistence that there is only one right way to do things. We would advance much faster as a civilization under this premise.

The illusion of freedom that we have signed off on in America, has created a new bubble here that is far scarier than any housing or economic bubble. Our acceptance of our limited world as freedom has only served to give more power to those who make our laws and govern our land. While we have been blissfully living our lives, they have been busy manufacturing scenarios to scare us into allowing more laws, more restrictions, and more limitations, which only serve to increase their power of us. They have manufactured a world based on our selfish wants and desires which was built keep us entertained and under an illusion that we are happy, that we are free… while we continue to work as their slaves, and line their pockets with our money. This. Is. Not. Freedom.

America was built on the foundation that we are a free and unified nation where every man is afforded the right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. What we have been given is a nation divided by laws and restrictions imposed by the few, to control the many. We are not free. The sooner we can all realize that, then the sooner we pop this bubble, and take back what is rightfully ours: FREEDOM.

Vive la révolution,

– Christine

 

“All Lives Matter… so take a look at your own: A guide on how to be a better human being and do your part for the world.”

That’s an idea for a book I just had.

Do me a favor, go read this nice update from Karen Berg. Go on, it’s quick, it will only take a second.

The truth is, there is a pattern to our hardships, and that pattern is called opportunity.”

Man, this is such a timely update/topic. We could not be at a time of greater opportunity in the world. On a massive scale, and also in our own lives.

We are at a time of break through and final recognition of opportunity that has been presenting itself as hardship in our nation, and in our lives.

This entire election process has brought so many different view out from so many people, and I think what we need to all see in that is the drive and the push for change is here and now.

Our world is changing.

No longer is hate, racism, and misogyny hiding behind closed doors, no it’s out and on center stage.

We have an opportunity here.

When that much hate is brought out into the light, the human response is drive to fix it.

How do we fix it. We all have different view and different opinions so how do we come to an agreement.

I think it first starts with understanding humanity and compassion. I also believe that the onslaught of hate is doing just that, bringing out more humanity and compassion from all of us.

As we learn to look at life with more compassion, then we learn to get better at looking at life from another view. When we shift our views, and shift towards a global understanding, well that’s where real, amazing, positive change happens.

We have just started a new 9 year cycle of energy. It is also the Age of Aquarius. The age of new thinking and of upholding strongly developed ideals. It is a time where we are capable of making the mental shifts, as a collective whole, that are needed in order to live in a better world. We are at the forefront of that energy, and it’s amazing once you realize that and start seeing all of the challenges before us now as opportunities… man that sounds exciting!

It is truly an incredible time to be alive.

Personally, I know I feel it as well. I have a push to look deeper at all of the challenges and situations in my life and figure out where I can do better, how I can be better. I am ready to open my mind to new thoughts of thinking and push myself to go outside of my comfort zone. That is where real miracles happen you know? Outside of our comfort zone. You can’t stay in your bubble of what you’ve always done or known and expect change. That’s the trick to it all. You’ve got to be the change. You have to do something different.

Change is not easy. It does not happen over night. Rewiring the way you think is a very tedious undertaking. However, when you look within yourself and you see the life and the world that you know we are capable of, that is where you must set your goal to be. When you see yourself there, when you envision that place of equality and peace, then you will start to align your life and your choices with those achievements… and that’s where radical change happens.

I know it can be easy to get angered and discouraged when it seems you aren’t being heard or understood. When you start to feel that way though, perhaps you should look for the opportunity in the situation. Step outside your comfort zone and do something different than what you normally do. Open your mind, and see where life takes you.

I bet you won’t regret it.

Happy Monday everyone!

– Christine