StLSass

Posts Tagged ‘sober

Today marks day 99 of my sobriety mission, so I thought I would take a minute to reflect on the journey so far. When I started this mission, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to accomplish. In my mind I set a goal of 90 days and decided I would re-evaluate things at that point. So here we are just over 90 days, and so much has changed in my life.

First and foremost, I bought a house. Granted I had been building towards this goal for most of 2016, but I still think that being sober really helped me push myself these past few months to be able to achieve all that I really had to do with this house. Including saving every last cent, because houses ain’t cheap! So the money savings has definitely been very beneficial, but the time and energy savings has been crucial to my adulting success as well.

I think the biggest benefit to not drinking though has been that I am never hung over. My weekend mornings are filled with projects and productivity instead of sleeping until noon, and then stuffing my face with bad food because I have no will power not to. Which brings me to another added benefit, I don’t find myself dying to eat anything and everything when I come home from a night out, which has been great for my waistline! Not to mention I just physically feel a lot better. Drinking is just poisoning your body, and keeping my body toxin free for 99 days has left me feeling pretty good.

Another benefit to not drinking? I remember everything! I remember new people who I meet when I am out. I remember every conversations that I have when I am out. I remember everything that everyone else who is drinking does or says, so I can remind them about it later when I know they aren’t going to remember what their drunk self actually said. Not that I was blacking out left and right before, but my nights always ended on a bit of a fuzzy note. It’s a good feeling going home knowing what happened, and knowing I won’t wake up in the morning full of regret for the choices that drunk me made the night before.

That brings me to another point, I have less regret! Being able to maintain my self control all night long leads to much less regret over my words and actions the next day. I definitely don’t miss the feeling of waking up and dreading looking at my phone for fear of what drunk me decided to text out into the world the night before.

Maintaining my self control to not drink in the first place has not been without challenge. There have been plenty of nights over the past 99 days where I have wanted to have a drink. Drinking “takes the edge off”, sort of. It is an easy way for us check out of reality for a little while. Spend 99 days in reality, and trust me, you will be quite eager for a break from it. That is life though. Life is hard, it is challenging, it is a struggle!! Everyday I make it through that struggle without needing to take a break though… makes me feel stronger and more capable of handling whatever challenges life has to throw my way.

To be honest, not drinking has mostly opened my eyes to the fact that as a society we have a major drinking problem. I don’t want to criticize everyone who drinks, however, if you are having more than 2 drinks every time you go out, I wonder if you have ever stopped to question why. What benefits is drinking bringing to your life? I know its the social thing to do, it makes you feel a little more loose, maybe it even makes you feel like you are having more fun than what you really are when you are out. At the end of it all though when you have had one too many and you start acting a bit foolish, what good are you really doing for yourself at that point?

I really don’t want to come off sounding judgmental of those who want to drink, but after making this journey myself, I can’t help but to want it for everyone else around me. I will admit, as much as I have wanted to drink, deep down I really haven’t because I know I will just be bringing out a lesser version of myself. As someone who is very into raising my consciousness and expanding my mind into higher levels of life… doing anything which brings myself down a few notches mentally is pretty counter intuitive to my overall goals for life. I have figured out how I achieve more in life, and I can’t help but want that for everyone else.

Also, it wasn’t until I wasn’t drinking that I realized how much alcohol is promoted in our world. As someone who believes that higher powers are continuously trying to suppress the masses, it has been very eye opening to realize how big of a role alcohol actually plays in keeping people locked into the lower levels of consciousness. Especially in St. Louis, home of Anheuser Busch, you are hard pressed to go more than a block or two anywhere in the city without seeing some kind of subliminal message to drink alcohol. We are being programmed to always drink. Anything the powers that be are trying to program me to do… are exactly the things I’m keen on staying away from these days. Just some food for thought.

Bottom line: I am 99 days sober, and I feel fantastic. Yes, life has been admittedly a bit harder, however, it’s so true, no pain, no gain! Discovering that facing life struggles head on, and sober, is the best way to level up in life… has been a wonderful and very welcome reward in my life. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me.

Much love to you all!

– Christine

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Many of you may think that my decision to quit drinking is something that I just decided to do one day after a terrible night out or something. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I first recognized that drinking wasn’t doing me any good about 2 years ago. I recognized it was an issue, but I wasn’t ready to actually stop. After I became aware of the negative ways that drinking was affecting my life, slowly but surely, I began to stop getting any kind of enjoyment from drinking. The day after Christmas 2016 I woke up only to have a vague memory of driving myself home, and that was it for me. I reached my zero tolerance level for myself. No longer did drinking offer any enjoyment, no, all it did was make me a danger to myself and those around me, and that was finally crystal clear to me. That was my A-ha moment. Since making that mental shift, it has become easy for me to dismiss my ego when that little voice creeps in with “Well, one drink won’t hurt..” Yes it will. I’ve proven it time and time again, and I’m done tempting fate. There is no point.

Tonight in my Kabbalah class we learned about the three stages of Transformation, and it hit home with me not only about drinking but about all the changes I am trying to make in life. I thought it was very interesting and wanted to share it with you all. To summarize, the three stages of transformation are:

  1. Obliviousness with a want for change: In the beginning you are oblivious to whatever issues you have within yourself that need to change. You can’t see the exact problem you may have but you start to know you want to change something. Once you know you want to change, slowly you will start to become aware of your behavior/thoughts/beliefs that are in fact not serving your highest good. At the point of awareness you move into the second phase…
  2. Awareness, and Enjoyment: Once you become aware of what your issues are, rarely do they immediately change. People are drawn to things that bring them enjoyment, so your behavior is bringing you some level of enjoyment or else you wouldn’t be doing it to begin with. The key to this phase is that as we become more and more aware of why our behavior is ultimately not serving our highest good, slowly it looses any feelings of enjoyment for us. Until finally we reach…
  3. Zero Tolerance: The a-ha moment. Once we make the mental shift to a belief of zero tolerance for our behavior we will reject that behavior going forward. That’s just human nature. Once we recognize that something does not bring us enjoyment, we will no longer have a want to continue with it. That’s when total transformation occurs.

I found it very enlightening to think of change in this format. The key factor is awareness. For me the key factor after awareness, is not to get lost in beating yourself up for continuing to make the same mistake even after you are aware that it is a problem. We are all human and we all have our issues, so don’t beat yourself up about it, work hard to understand it. As our teacher explained last night, it really comes down to figuring out what enjoyment you are still deriving from making that mistake. Something about it still “feels” good to you so you are going to continue to keep doing it. However, once you understand what it is that you think you are enjoying about it and measure that up to the true negatives of the decision, that is when it usually becomes easy to see that in the end what little fun you are getting from it isn’t worth the pain in the end. And then you change.

Anyways, I thought the lesson tonight was very timely and interesting and I wanted to spread the wisdom around. We are currently experiencing a time when big changes and realizations are more possible than they have been in a long time. I’m big into astrology, and for the next month all of the planets are moving direct, so what that means is that we have all of the positive energy flow that is possible in the universe currently surrounding us and pushing us forward. We are able to have great clarity and much positive energy right now guiding us to follow our biggest dreams and achieve big goals.

So if you have been stuck in phase 2 for awhile now with some decisions, its very possible now is the time that you move into zero tolerance and experience total transformation. Like a caterpillar out of its cocoon, I cannot wait to see the beauty that is about to erupt in our world over the next month!

Blessings to all,

– Christine

 

Over the past year I have become aware that my drinking has become more problematic in my life than it has been fun. Too many nights I have driven knowing full well I was not in the most sound state to do so. That, above anything else, has been the driving reason for me to drastically change my behavior and what I deem acceptable in life.

With that, I am proud to announce that I am no longer drinking. Many of those close to me know that has been a goal of mine for some time now, but not a goal I was all that committed to. I was committed to it on mornings when I was hung over and full of regret, but when Friday evening came around I was all too quick to forget my reasons for abstaining.

As someone who struggles with self control in life on a regular basis, drinking only served to be my escape to let go of any tiny bit of self control that I was able to have. I have set many goals for myself over the past year, and in my look back at why some of those goals never came to fruition, drinking was usually the main, if not the only, reason for it.

I have tried the method of limiting myself to only having two drinks when I go out, and at times that has worked just fine. However, I question what the point of even having two drinks is, when those two drink would still sometimes led to 3… or 4… or more.

What ultimately led to my commitment to not drink at all period, was the fact that it’s not really even fun to me anymore… under any circumstance. I drink, I maybe get a little more loosey goosey than I normally would be, but I’m already a pretty outgoing person, so alcohol only serves to increase the volume of voice really. When I really think about what it is doing for me, I see that it is just making me more ego driven, while abandoning all of the proactive decision making that I’ve striven so hard to learn this year. Which at this point, is exactly the opposite of what I want out of my life.

Not to mention alcoholism runs in my family, very heavily. So while some people can control themselves while drinking and not take it too far… for me that’s a very hard thing to do. One taste and I just want more.

I by no means want to judge anyone who chooses to drink, that is everyone’s own prerogative. However, I would like to encourage everyone to think about the reasons why you like to drink. Is it because it’s fun? Is it because it takes the edge off after a crappy day at work? Is it because that’s just what you’ve always done? What is it that you get out of drinking?

Think about all the goals that you want to accomplish in life, and ask yourself if drinking is in anyway hampering those goals? If the answer is yes, I encourage you to start thinking about how cutting back or quitting drinking might help you get further with certain goals this coming year. Our society is so entrenched in drinking being a normal thing that everyone does, but I’ve started to see that that perception is perhaps one that is perpetrated by society to in fact keep us down. I personally see no real benefits to drinking, physically or mentally, so why is it that it’s become such a staple for so many people and events?

Can you imagine a society that is so well adjusted that we don’t ever need to drink to avoid our true reality? Seems like a better place to live to me. Getting there is going to take a lot of big changes for people, but I think many people are ready for that change. We are already becoming a more health conscious society, so I think that will help drive the initiative a lot further over the coming years. We are also starting to be able to better recognize how we are being controlled by the bigger powers at play in the world, and I have to say, I think the normalization of drinking is a move they conspired to make so common place to keep us from rising up. I’ll leave my conspiracy theories out of it for now though, and just say that I hope everyone reading this takes a minute to think about their own drinking habits, and evaluate what it is really bringing to the table for you in your life. I’m not saying you shouldn’t ever drink, but I do think you should understand yourself enough to know why you drink. Understanding the why goes a long way to understanding if it’s something you really need in your life or not.

Your support and encouragement on my journey are much appreciated.

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Love and blessings to all,

– Christine