StLSass

It is a very interesting time in terms of the energy in the world right now.

Have you felt as though problems you thought you conquered are creeping back up in your life?

That is the cause of all the retrograde action going on right now. We just got out of Venus retrograde, but Mars and Pluto are still there.

Basically what has been going on, is that the universe has been stirring up deep issues, perhaps ones that we thought we had moved past, to bring them to our attention for true deep healing. It is bringing things up in a manner where it may cause you to react very harshly. This is because the universe is wanting us to recognize the irrationality of these issues, and see beyond our emotions to understand the true underlying feelings and wounds that we have which remain deep within us.

One of my biggest fears is the fear of abandonment. When I give into this fear I become very insecure in relationships, and lose all my confidence and self esteem.

This past week was definitely a test of my ability to control my reactions to this fear.

First, I was stood up for a date with someone whom I had already been out with and established a connection with. He later explained he got sick, and tried calling me but had phone problems, but regardless, sitting there waiting for this man to show up and then realizing he was not going to… was a very strong test of my fear. Normally, I would have reacted and gone off the edge of crazy on this man. However, trying to remain calm and enlightened, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and told myself I would not react for at least three days. I made it two before my crazy came out. Which was not pretty, BUT, as I was going crazy,  I was witnessing it internally in a way that I had never been  able to before. I watched my crazy self make assumptions, and then go into obsessive state, which ultimately served no purpose and made the whole situation worse. The way that I reacted was not good. However, being able to become aware of where I was going wrong and track it back to my fear of abandonment then gave me the ability to sit with that knowledge and understand myself better so that perhaps next time I will not let my emotions run such a muck based on my perceived reality, was very enlightening.

All of the retrograde energies right now are creating a perfect storm for the Universe to send us opportunities that testing our ability to trust and have faith and trust that the Universe is working in our favor. If we can remember this, that makes its so much easier to be less reactive when we face perceived challenges.

So if you find yourself facing some challenges right now, remember to trust that this is an opportunity from the universe to recognize your own part in creating these issues in your life. Remember to pause, reflect, and dig into what you are really feeling behind your initial reactions. What is it that you really need from the situation that you are not getting?

And if you do react, go crazy, get angry, whatever the case may be, remember that it is okay. We are only human, and we are not perfect. Don’t beat yourself up about it, have compassion for yourself, and remember to forgive yourself. Recognizing that the challenge is truly within is a great feat all on its own, so chin up!

This was mostly a pep talk for myself, but I hope it helps a few others out there as well.

Happy Monday all!

– Christine