StLSass

Posts Tagged ‘life

2017.

What a year it has been. I’m already getting chills just thinking about this year. <Deep Breath> What a year, indeed.

I started this year by creating a Vision Board to chart out my biggest goals. Goals that at the time were just mere thoughts, ideas, hopes, prayers really. My three main goals were: Buy a house, Start a business, and Find a Rock Solid Love. Supporting goals around those ideas included: Conquering my addictions, Improving my self-esteem, Seeing beyond the limits of my ego, being fearless, Finishing What I Start, and last, but certainly not least, Healing.

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I had no real expectations.

I knew I was going to buy a house, but the search up until that point had been long and very tedious. I had looked at so many houses, and none of them felt right. When I created my vision board I was drawn to these pictures of a home with these crisp white walls. They seemed simple and elegant, they resonated with my soul, so onto the board they went. Three weeks into the year, the day of my thirty first birthday, I walked into a house, and as I was looking around a peaceful knowing came over my soul, this was my home. I didn’t pick up on it in that moment, but later on I was looking at my vision board, when it clicked. The house, my house, was full of tall, white, and simply elegant walls. My soul knew what I wanted all along, and through my vision board, it was able to show me exactly what that was.

Across the middle of my vision board I had created a large cutout of the word Entrepreneur. Again, I didn’t really know what that looked like, or what it meant for me, but onto the board it went for life to sort it all out. This one wasn’t as easy though. I struggled trying to figure out what business was really right for me. In March I created an LLC to do some side recruiting through. Recruiting is what I know, it’s what I’m good at, so it made sense that I create a business around that. Or did it?

A friend and former colleague of mine also started recruiting for himself about the same time. Except he was really going for it. We conversed a lot about how to go about the business, the ins and outs of taxes, legalities, contracts, etc. It didn’t take long for me to notice… that I really didn’t care about my business the way that he cared about his. It didn’t motivate me. It didn’t inspire me. That was a problem. That was a big problem.

In early March, I went to a talk by Derek Loudermilk that was called “Live the Life of your Dreams: The Top 10 Ways To Earn Money Online And Travel The World”. I was very intrigued by the message in Derek’s talk. He talked about various ways to make money through blogging, speaking, pod casting, coaching, and even creating and marketing online courses. These were all things that heavily piqued my interest. I already had a blog, I was always signing up for other people’s online life courses, and to imagine myself out giving a speech somewhere someday, possibly even a Ted talk… sent chills down my spine. This was what I wanted to do, this was the life of my dreams!!

The day after going to Derek’s talk, I got a random idea to host a Vision Board Class. I didn’t know what it would look like, or who would even want to attend, but I knew the New Moon was coming up and that was the best day of the month to plant an intention, so I created a Facebook event for the April New Moon, and hoped for the best. The night of my class, I had four girlfriends that came over. As soon as I saw the group of ladies that I would have, my heart felt so full, and so right. These were all women that I respected tremendously, who were all working hard at figuring out their own goals, and whom I knew that this class could truly help within their pursuits. It was an amazing and inspiring night.

A few weeks later, I set up a call with this Derek Loudermilk character. At the end of his talk, he had passed around a sign up sheet offering a free consultation to anyone there who wanted to talk. After seeing how inspiring my vision board class was, I wanted to talk to him and get his opinion on what kind of business I should potentially create. My one hour call turned into three hours, as Derek helped me work my way through some of my own self limiting blocks and beliefs that no one else in my life had been bold enough to call me out about to my face. My ego didn’t like him… which is exactly why my soul hired him right then and there. Working with Derek was a big financial commitment though, and again, my ego wasn’t totally on board. So I postponed our first official meeting until July so I would have enough time to wrap my ego and my brain around how the hell I was actually going to pay for him.

When I moved into my house, in the back of my mind, I had this idea that I could rent part of my it out on AirBNB. I knew I didn’t want permanent roommates, but I was totally okay with temporary guests, and even welcomed the thought of playing host to out of towners. So, with two months to secure my financial stability, and make sure I could really afford the commitment I had made, I went to work! I spent June and July getting beds, sheets, towels, and more, to turn my house into a real BNB. It was a lot of work, but it felt good, it felt right, and most of all it made me feel alive.

My first meeting with Derek came mid July. He was curious why I hadn’t posted my BNB yet. It wasn’t ready, it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t have pictures, I didn’t have a system figured out, I needed more time! My perfectionism needed more time. Derek challenged my objections though and pushed me to get the house listed by August 1st. Now my perfectionism had a choice: post it as it was… which wasn’t totally perfect, or fail to meet my first goal. I wasn’t about to be a failure, so I gave in and decided it was good enough to post. I listed the house on August 1st, my first guests checked in on August 5th. I was terrified. They were 5 kids from the UK who were finishing up a stint at a Summer Camp and had 5 days to kill in St. Louis before returning home. They had never used AirBNB, and were pretty much as clueless as I was about how exactly it was going to go. So we learned together. I learned that having house rules were important. They learned that eating your hosts food is a big no no. Lol. We had fun. Within my first month on AirBNB I made enough to pay my commitment to Derek, and still had extra to cover all my utilities. Every month since I have made enough to continue to cover my coaching costs and my most of utilities as well.

Dream Count
Soul: 1   Ego: 0

AirBNB wasn’t my end game though, that was simply one branch of the tree. My vision board class was another branch. My blog a third branch. Astrology, a passion of mine that was quickly becoming very useful to me, I knew would factor into this tree as well. While we’re on passions, there is also the topic of my comedy and storytelling, where do these fit in on my tree? Ahh, those go into the speaker branch. You know that dream of giving a TED talk that sent chills down my spine after Derek’s first talk? Yes, that is an important branch indeed. What else? Hmmm… Well, what I really want is to be someone’s Derek, calling out people’s ego’s and making them see how the only thing that is limiting them… is themselves. The more I got into astrology, and understanding my own innate talents and gifts, the more I have come to accept that this is actually something that I am very good at. I can see the bigger picture very clearly, and I’m great at meeting people on their level and talking to them in a way where they instinctively know they can trust me, and know that I have their best interests at heart. Which I do, and which is why being a coach is exactly what I need to be doing.

Dream Count
Soul: 6   Ego: 0

This year I figured out my dreams, and I learned to believe in myself enough to make them happen. Which, if that isn’t the truest definition of an Entrepreneur, then I don’t know what is.

So what about that third goal, a rock solid love? Those who know me well, know that love has been a struggle for me my entire life. Not for lack of trying, and not for a lack of suitors though, no, my struggle with love has always been with my ability to love myself. Until this year, until Derek called my ego out, and showed me how my thoughts and my words shaped this entire unlovable persona that I thought I was, I never really admitted that I didn’t love myself. When in fact, I didn’t just not love myself, but my self hatred ran quite deep. This was because I had deep hurts, deep wounds, deep pain, that I had never really acknowledged. I was always quite content to just always keep pretending I was fine. I saw no value in recognizing these things. In fact, it made me angry to even think about it. Well, it made my ego angry. You see, my ego, is the perfectionist, and for it to acknowledge my own imperfection made it quite hostile. I spent many nights this year alone in my home, quite literally screaming through that anger. Digging into it, understanding it, processing it, and thankfully slowly letting it go. Little by little, as I have let my anger go, as I have learned to understand the why behind my heavy emotions, I have slowly learned to love the imperfect woman that was beneath all of that hate. I have learned to love her something quite fierce actually. She is strong. She is kind. She is wise beyond her years. She is quite simply incredible. I can say all of that without hesitation now, because she IS the rock solid love I have been so desperately looking for.

Let’s go back to those vision board goals again: Buy a house (I  moved into my house on 3/17), Start a business (Achieved on 4/7, and again on 8/1, and again on 12/4.. and again and again and again), and Find a Rock Solid Love (All year long baby). Supporting goals around those ideas included: Conquering my addictions (I was sober 1/1 – 5/4, drank like a fish in May, realized why I got sober again by June, and have only let myself have wine ever since), Improving my self-esteem (Self love all day), Seeing beyond the limits of my ego (thank you Derek), being fearless (DOING ALL OF THIS REQUIRED ME TO BE MORE FEARLESS THAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN), Finishing What I Start (AirBNB), and last, but certainly not least, Healing (Working through anger, working through pain, coming out full of self love on the other side).

Wow.

2017… you changed my life.

It all started with a vision, a prayer, a hope. That is really all you ever really need. The Universe will always conspire to take care of the rest. 🙂

Sending you all so much love and light, as always,

– Christine

P.S. If you are in the St. Louis area, join me Sunday December 17th from 2-5 PM for my next vision board class! Come plant YOUR dream seeds for 2018!!

 

 

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I have been avoiding writing.

I tell myself I’m not exactly sure why I avoid writing at times, but if I really put some thought into it… I’m sure it’s because I’m avoiding my own thoughts.

They irritate me. I see how irrational they are at times, yet I still let them dictate what I do on a daily basis. Based on their own irrationality. It’s insanity.

It’s an insane world I have been letting myself camp out in for too long now.

We just went through a very cathartic energy transition. One that has been building for the last two years. We are at a point where we are ready to shed that which is no longer working for us. Those ingrained habits of pure insanity that we have been innocuously let rule our minds, are finally starting to be seen for what they are: detrimental to our overall well being and happiness.

My aversion to writing is fueled by my perfectionist thoughts. If I’m not sitting down to write something that is going to change the world, then why am I even writing at all??

Silly insanity. Calm down. You’re writing to relate to people, to connect, to be human, because you want to, WHO CARES WHY, JUST WRITE! Okay. It’s not glamorous, and I’m not saving the world, but OKAY. Soon I start writing everyday, I start connecting with people, I start hearing from people how they appreciate what I wrote on this or that, and then I hear from someone how my post changed their outlook, helped their day, or just made them feel not so alone.

Suddenly, my imperfect writing has created a change in this world. Just like that, I’ve proven my own story that I told myself to be nothing more than fictional disgruntled insanity.

Too often we can get into the habit of telling ourselves stories that’s aren’t real, which then limit and hold us back from our greatest potential. In fact, most of the time there is something great that we should be doing, our ego is really good at convincing us why we can’t actually do it.

My new favorite thing is to listen for the “but” in my mind. Anytime I get an idea that I want to go for, it is usually followed with “but I can’t do it until I do X” or “but it would never work for me” or “BUT I’d be so good at X that then Y would happen and that would be terrible”. Talking myself out of doing something because I know I’ll be successful at it and I am simply not prepared for the after fan fare is one of my personal favorites, because it is SO INSANE.

I recently paid good money for a life coach to help me with my business/writing/life, and honestly… all he has to do is point out where I am inserting my own “but” to get to the meat of where I am limiting myself. My investment in him, is simply an investment into having someone point out my limits, and because I’m now monetarily invested in the success of my own life… I’ve finally stopped giving in to the daily insanity that my mind creates, and instead, started listening. (Money is a great motivator like that sometimes.)

When I listen for what my heart truly desires, I know there is no BUT big enough to stop me from achieving what I truly want. It’s simply a matter of creating a plan and making it happen. The how isn’t that hard, it is the creation of the absolute certainty in your mind that you CAN/WILL make it happen that I think we all get stuck on.

So my advice for today? Listen for your but. Where are you stopping yourself? Where are you limiting yourself? YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! The only thing stopping you is YOU.

Get out there and make it happen!!

– Christine

Advice

I heard some thing last week that has helped me find the strength that I have needed to find in order to move forward in several areas of my life that have been stagnant lately. It is so simple, and also something I knew, but there is a difference between knowing something and being told some thing is in fact right by a teacher or outside person. Hearing this from a third party was the added confirmation that I needed to take this advice to heart.

The pearl of wisdom I received…

“If you ever feel that there is something that you uncontrollably HAVE to do, or just HAVE to say to someone… that is your sign that you should not say or do that thing.”

I know full well when I shouldn’t contact an ex, or have one more drink, or whatever, HOWEVER, so many times that little voice creeps in my head to convince me of just exactly why I not only should do said thing, but that I HAVE to do it. I’m really great at convincing myself to do things that I previously told myself I would not do because doing said things is actually very unhealthy for me. My ego’s go to convincing argument almost always includes the words, “because you just have to!”, in the most life will be in dire straits if you don’t do it kind of way.

You know what though? I don’t HAVE to do anything. Life will go on, things will progress exactly as they were meant to, and I don’t HAVE to DO anything to make it otherwise.

Over the past week, I have caught myself saying the HAVE TO phrase to myself more times than I care to admit. It has been extremely eye opening AND rewarding forcing myself to look really hard at why I am really trying to convince myself to do something. Any time I get so deep that I am telling myself it’s because I just have to, I’m really grasping for straws at that point as to why I can allow myself to do something that clearly goes against my own greater good.

Humans are funny creatures like that. Our ego’s have a way of convincing us, in the moment, to do things that really only serve the ego, and serve the purpose of holding us back from our true potential. The more we pause, and restrict, the less we live from our naturally reactive state of chaos.

Anyways, that was a great piece of advice that I have implemented this past week, which has already helped me really cut through all the crap I try to tell myself at times, and stick with the higher road for my own good. I hope it can help some of you as well!

Peace and Love,

– Christine

 

 

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How was your weekend?

Were you highly emotional and perhaps even overly aggressive towards people?

Did you get any gut feelings this weekend that it was time to make a big change in life?

Time to take a stand??

Time to do that thing that you know you should be doing but that you have been making mental excuses as to why you can’t actually do them???

If you can relate to any of the above, you are not alone. This weekend we had a full moon that was the most powerful full moon we will experience this year. It brought forth feelings and emotions that may have caused us to act out, think really hard, or even become super crazy.

Myself? I went through a gambit of emotions and thoughts over the past few days.

Friday morning, after thinking about some of my fears, I decided to research the Fear of Abandonment, as that was one I hadn’t really looked at directly yet. What I found was an article describing seven things that a person with a fear of abandonment will do in a relationship that can push their partner away. Reading that list, I felt as though I was reading a play by play of my last relationship and how I systematically self imploded the whole thing. I mean, I have known that I self destructed in that relationship, that was very clear. But seeing my behavior pin pointed so directly to classic symptoms of the fear of abandonment… just made me so upset. So upset in fact, that I was overwhelmed with extreme emotion the rest of the day. I even had to close my office door at work because I couldn’t stop bawling my eyes out. I think I was mostly upset because it was very clear to me just how hard my ego is willing to go in order to block me from having love in my life. I saw myself in a new light where I was finally able to recognize that the reason I can’t find love is because the more someone tries to love me, the harder my ego will try to push them away and hurt them. For perhaps the first time ever, I saw just how deeply hurt and broken I truly am… and it devastated me.

I did not wallow in this pain though. I cried it out as I also kept telling myself that it’s okay, now I know, and now that I know I can begin to work on that side of myself more. Then I cried some more, because I know I’m at the beginning of a very long road, and well, I’m impatient and the thought of having to take another 2-3 years before I can be capable of truly loving someone is just highly upsetting to me. The psychic I went to see in February did say I would have four more years of being single though, which at the time I thought that sounded a bit dramatic… however, now I get it.

So after a roller coaster of emotions all day Friday I did what I always do when I need some cheering up. I went to a comedy show. I got some much needed laughter in my life, and Friday night I went to bed feeling relatively okay.

Saturday I woke up feeling pretty good. I went to meet up with some friends for brunch, and as I was waiting for them, my mind started focusing on another problem area in my life: my drinking. My problem with drinking is that I lose all ability to maintain self-control when I am drinking. The more I thought about that, I thought about how I also recently became more aware that I have major control issues in my life. Suddenly I realized that I have been using drinking as an excuse to give up control in life, because I am so controlling normally that I don’t know how else to let go. As it goes with situations in life though, because I have refused to acknowledge this problem it has manifested as a bigger and bigger problem in my life, to the point to where now if I even take one sip of alcohol, I automatically give myself permission to go balls to the wall out of control and make extremely unhealthy choices for my life. So as I was sitting and assessing this whole situation, I realized that my real problem is with control in my life, and that’s where I need to start focusing some energy to figure myself out. Another great self realization, however, also another problem I can foresee taking years for me to truly figure out…. yaaayyyyyy.

Then last night I had an interesting dream. In this dream I was decorating and setting up a new home, when suddenly a murderer was breaking in and chasing me and my friends through the neighborhood. At one point, he got me pretty good with a stab wound to my side, which was actually pretty painful. However, the pain didn’t keep me down for long, and towards the end of the dream, I had taken to hunting the murderer myself. I actually tracked down his secret lair, and was in the process of trying to figure out his next move so that I could capture him myself, when I woke up. After I woke up, I googled what it means if you are being chased by a murderer in your dreams. What I found is that the theme of being chased by someone in a dream typically represents some aspect or fear within yourself that you are perhaps running from. Given that interpretation, I found a sliver of hope within my murderous dream. Yes, I have a significant fear of abandonment, and severe control issues… they are the painful stab wound to my side. However, I have now found them out, I recognize them, I have found their secret lair and I can now plot my best plan of attack to finally defeat them! I don’t think it was coincidence that I woke up in the fact finding stage either. That is where I am at in life. I am now aware of my issues, and so it is time that I work to gather the facts and make a plan on how I defeat them going forward. There is hope, and it might take some time, but I feel more confident about my path forward than ever before.

This full moon was indeed a powerful one.

I am so grateful that we live in a Universe full of energetic tides preparing us and pushing us towards our best selves at all times. The Universe wants us to succeed. It is constantly presenting us with opportunities and chances to learn and be better.  However, it is up to notice those opportunities and seize them. This is why I am so into astrology, because it gives us some clues as to what type of energy is swirling about in the Universe at any given moment, and also how we can best apply that energy to our own energetic makeup in order to further our own growth and understanding. It is a truly amazing and powerful tool.

If you are interested in any kind of information about astrology and how you can start using this powerful tool in your life, reach out and let me know. I would love to speak with you and see how I can help.

Thanks for reading everyone, HAPPY MONDAY!!

– Christine

I say a lot of things, particularly in regards to my dating life and what I would and would not accept in a man, however, I thought it might be time to set the record straight.

There is one thing that a man must have in order for me to fall for him, and that is the ability to make me laugh. If you can take anything I say to you and turn it back to me with a witty remark and an indignant look that elicits a laugh out of me, I probably already have a crush on you.

In addition to laughter, I also need a man with intelligence. The kind that can back me up with sound logic when my reasoning of “because it’s Gemini season” doesn’t satisfy whomever I may be explaining life to at any given moment, lol. I deal in the realm of the ether… because of that I appreciate men who are in the know on a lot of things and are there to back me up with knowledge, whether they understand my crazy logic or not.

Which brings me to another important quality: patience. I need a man that understands the importance of patience in getting to know someone and start a relationship. Someone that is willing to take their time and develop a friendship first and see where that goes. It takes a long time for me to open up to someone and for them to really know who I truly am. I have a lot of scars that I like to pretend aren’t there, and so only when I know someone truly isn’t going somewhere do I begin to open about these things. 

Lastly, I want a man that can talk to me, tell me what he is feeling, and be open enough to listen to me talk about my feelings and figure out what I’m feeling as I say it. I work things out as I speak, so I can’t have someone that takes everything I say literally. I need a man who will help me work out my thoughts, question me as I talk, and make me think about what it is that I am really trying to say.

These are the things that I want. Nothing else really matters. You would think the combo of all of these things wouldn’t be so hard to find, but it has been. I guess because I’m not always looking either. I have faith the universe will put the right man in my path when I am ready and life will make it all happen.

So cheers to the Universe for making it happen.

Happy Monday!

– Christine

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I have a confession, (I’m so naturally secretive that as I’ve learned to embrace my truth I’ve grown to love confessions if you haven’t picked up on this already)… I ended my sobriety streak back in May.

I had gotten to a point where I honestly really felt like drinking and I was just getting very angry at the notion that I “couldn’t drink”. Its the Aquarius in me, tell me I can’t do something and that’s all I want to do.

So after 4 months of sobriety, I entertained a few nights of drinking.

First and foremost I was a bit shocked that my tolerance had not changed one bit. I’m sure that is a testament to just how hardcore of a drinker I was before I stopped, but it also made me see that it would take much longer than 4 months for my body to really ever detox from my many years of heavy drinking.

Secondly, I was immediately reminded of why I stopped drinking to begin with, which is because it isn’t actually fun to me. It’s weird, but when I drink it’s as though I am handing over the keys to my life to this girl that doesn’t really have any plans or direction. She does whatever she wants, and has no care for what the next day, or even hour, may bring. She is out to have “fun” in this moment and that is all that matters.

Except for the fact that that isn’t all that matters to me in life any more, so now when I hand the keys over to that girl I pretty much just get annoyed by her and her immature ideology on life and what is “fun”.

Thirdly, I have come to an understanding of how to drink in moderation. For me, I cannot drink vodka in moderation. I just can’t. I used to only drink vodka and water, and what I have realized is that combination is the reason that I would drink and drink, and never really feel drunk until I was so drunk that I was either getting sick or blacking out. The water was hydrating me just enough to keep me from mentally feeling drunk, but it wasn’t really helping my physical body to not feel the effects, so eventually my physical body would be so saturated it would just make me sick.

So for me, I believe that I can drink in moderation, and my success with that has come from drinking wine. Wine is made to be drank slowly, so this makes sense.

… I think my struggle with drinking really comes down to the fact that my life is changing. I am not the girl that I once was, and I no longer truly enjoy the things that I once did. That change… is a bit scary. Partying, drinking, being over the top and out of control… is familiar “fun” to me.

FOCUSING on what I really want, working hard, and being persistent … is all a bit foreign to me. However, I know the long term joy that comes from within the latter is the only kind of fun I really want in my life now.

So, I think, the past few months have been me just dipping a toe into the sobriety pool to see how the water feels. But now, I’ve gotten to a point where it’s time to really dive in and embrace all of the changes that this new life requires. Which means making some of the big changes that I have put off making.

More to come on those…

Thanks for reading everyone, have a good one!

– Christine

 

 

 

 

It took less than a week on Christian Mingle for me to be reminded of why I get so easily frustrated with “Christians”. Let me be clear, I believe in Jesus, I believe in God, I believe in the Holy Spirit, and I also believe in astrology, numerology, Kabbalah, and really anything else that has the potential to bring me to a higher understanding of life. I believe that there is universal truth and wisdom to be found in all religions, and that it is only through our ability as people to set aside our perceived differences, approach one another with respect, and to truly listen with open minds that we will be able to achieve a true understanding of the unknown and see peace and harmony in our world.

Certain Christians, however, would rather focus on how JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE, AND IF YOU BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WILL BE SENT TO HELL TO ROT FOR ALL OF ETERNITY! I do not believe that all Christians are so condemning in their beliefs, but having been raised by in a devout Christian family, who do hold this theory to be so finitely true, this is the group of Christians I will be referring to throughout the rest of this post.

My main problem with this type of belief is it’s straight forward hypocrisy that is completely lost on its believers. Theses Christians talk about how loving and wonderful, and forgiving God is, but then in the same breath will condemn the gays, Muslims, and Jews, because the Bible says to. For these Christians, their religion has become an excuse for them to persecute and condemn others who don’t fit in with their accepted beliefs. You cannot say you are all about love and unity and yet harbor fear and hate in your heart for those who do not believe in the same things as you.

Interestingly enough, in my introductory study of Kabbalah I learned that this self righteous attitude of Christians is actually part of their destiny. For without this attitude, they would never have been so adamant and strong willed in spreading the word of God, and Jesus’ message of saving grace. This pushy, strong willed, holier than thou attitude WAS necessary in our history in order to spread God’s love and light as much as it has. HOWEVER, the ultimate downfall of the Christians, which we are now seeing, is that eventually that self-righteous behavior turns them into a machine that then starts violating others freedoms and liberties in the name of Christ. Which is what is happening today, and which is not okay.

Self-Righteous, arrogant, hard headed, and fear mongering Christians are now crossing into the territory where they themselves need saving. They need to be reeled in, and to understand that opposing views are not the enemy but rather are the key to higher understanding and enlightenment. We cannot grow, evolve, and move towards unity on earth until everyone understands this. Our opponents are in our lives in order to challenge us and help us seek the light in situations that may appear wholly dark. Like a light bulb, you must have friction, you must have resistance, in order to create light. You must be challenged by another in order to open your mind, meet in the middle, and achieve the higher understanding that exists when you bring out the truth in both of your points of view.

So to the man on Christian Mingle who read my profile which states that I love God, I believe that Jesus died for our sins to save us, AND that I believe in the higher enlightenment of Kabbalah, astrology, and any thing else that will challenge my mind, and who took that as an opportunity to condemn me and let me know that my beliefs will earn me a “guilty” sentence in the after life which leads me straight to hell…. to you sir, I send you nothing but light and love. I pray that your heart be opened and that you may see how your narrow minded views are that of a world which is coming to an end. For I know that God is love, and when I open my heart to contain nothing but love and light for all, that is where I find the most peace, joy, and understanding in life.

I will not shame you. I will not condemn you. Those are fear tactics, and I only have room for love in my life. Even in my opposing view of these radicalized Christians, I do not think them to be bad people. Rather I see them as people who are in need. They are in need of someone to come into their life with whom they can tolerate a spark of resistance from, someone who can show them the higher power that lies within challenging their stead fast beliefs, because if we are not continuously learning and growing, we are not seeking the light; and if we are not seeking the light, then we are only serving our own self righteous agendas.

These Christians, in my opinion, have stopped seeking the light. They have stopped seeking a higher understanding as they have become all too reliant upon the highly misinterpreted and misconstrued messages of the Bible. As I said, in Kabbalah, it is outlined how this was an inevitable position for followers of the Bible to end up at. In Kabbalah, there is a text called The Zohar, and what the Zohar teaches is that there are in depth and enlightened lessons that can be interpreted from stories of the Bible. The Zohar actually says anyone who interprets the Bible literally is very dangerous, as this was never meant to be the case. In my studies, I have to concur that the deranged messaging in some of the Bible’s lessons are in fact extremely dangerous when interpreted literally. The Zohar, however, interprets the lessons of the Bible and applies them to our ego, our mind, and our journey towards enlightenment. It provides a path that above all has brought me greater understanding of myself, and has also opened my heart. To say this is evil or blasphemy is pretty much laughable to me, because it has brought more light into my life than Christianity ever has.

Personally, I am a seeker of truth above all. I believe what I believe because I FEEL it to be true, and I then seek out information that will help to corroborate my feelings. So for me, when any person uses their religion as a self righteous shield to condemn all others with opposing views, I see a person who clearly has lost sight of the light that is within us all.

Love. Unity. Oneness. These things can only be achieved when we look at our opponents and chose to see the light within them rather than to condemn them for their darkness. The world IS shifting towards this mindset, towards this heart centered living. I guess I just find it ironic that the people responsible for originally bringing this message of salvation to the world, are now the same people who seemingly need to be saved from themselves. It’s ironic, but also a beautiful display of the divinity of our universe. There is a balance to it all, and no one is above anyone else.

Bottom line: We are all one. The sooner we can all realize this, the sooner we can all work together towards revealing the unique light within each of us, which will bring about an even greater truth and understanding of life than we currently have in our divided state, and that will ultimately bring about true harmony and peace on earth.

May you all remember to look for and focus on the light in all that you do.

God bless,

– Christine

the light