StLSass

Posts Tagged ‘life goals

I haven’t written in quite sometime, and I feel like I have been avoiding myself by doing so. Writing is a lot of times my mirror. It’s how I look at my thoughts and my feelings and can try to make sense of them. Today I find myself more lost in my thoughts and emotions than I have all year.

On one hand, I am creating a business and a life that is truly helping people. When I am on the phone coaching clients, or doing clarity sessions with astrology, I am helping people come to major realizations and understandings about themselves, and it is the most incredible experience in the world. I know that I have the ability to inspire people through my own life stories, and I am working on several speeches and talks that I want to give as well. These things bring me so much joy to think about, and I know that I am on the right track in what I am doing, and that my professional future is very bright.

On the other hand… my personal life, specifically my relationships, are not doing so well. As a sexual abuse survivor, relationships come with a lot of hurdles for me to overcome within myself. I have trust issues. I have low self esteem, which leads to insecurity issues. I grew up always creating chaos around me in order to push people away from me; and now as an adult no matter how hard I try, the chaos still manages to find its way in. I have this ingrained belief that if I let people get close to me, I will get hurt, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to shake that.

These are all challenges that I have been working on in therapy for years, but yet they are still there. They resurface any time I try to have a relationship with someone. They are the reason I would rather be alone at times then try to work at relationship.

At the end of the day though, we all crave the ability to relate to other people, and that is because relationships are a necessity for us to learn and grow. I guess that’s what is driving my passion for my business. It is how I’ve found a way to relate to people in a positive way for right now.

One of the unexpected benefits of coaching that I have found, is that I tend to attract people to me who are going through challenges that are similar to my own. I think that is the Universe’s way of helping me to help myself. It’s hard to spend an hour telling someone about all the positive ways they can impact their own life, and then sit back and look at myself, who has all the same issues, and not feel compelled to take my own advice.

As I write this, I am preparing for a call with a client, and I am already feeling slightly better and inspired by her. I have a pre-session form with a number of questions, and one in particular asks “How will you move yourself forward in the week following our call?”¬† I love her answer:

  1. Be mindful of everything I do.
  2. If I do something that goes against my thinking I will acknowledge it and let myself know that I am doing the best I can
  3. I will love myself and tell myself daily
  4. Get good rest
  5. Fill myself with nutrition
  6. Hydrate
  7. Move, stay active

Those are all things I think I could really use some focus on in my own life right now. Whenever life gets overwhelming, it’s always best to go back to the basics and make sure you are making self care a priority.

We are going through some powerful transformation energy right now, that is highlighting our own behaviors that need some changing right now. Changing deeply rooted thoughts and behaviors is not easy, and it doesn’t happen over night. It is important to remember to be gentle on yourself and those around you as we work through these growing pains.

I know as I continue to work on myself, and continue to work with others in positive ways, slowly I will find better ways of relating in my personal life as well.

Positive, and patient thoughts are the prescription for this week.

Thanks for reading lovelies, I’ll be back to posting more regularly going forward. For my own sanity. ūüôā

With love and light,

Christine

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2017.

What a year it has been.¬†I’m already getting chills just thinking about this year. <Deep Breath>¬†What a year, indeed.

I started this year by creating a Vision Board to chart out my biggest goals. Goals that at the time were just mere thoughts, ideas, hopes, prayers really. My three main goals were: Buy a house, Start a business, and Find a Rock Solid Love. Supporting goals around those ideas included: Conquering my addictions, Improving my self-esteem, Seeing beyond the limits of my ego, being fearless, Finishing What I Start, and last, but certainly not least, Healing.

IMG_8416

I had no real expectations.

I knew I was going to buy a house, but the search up until that point had been long and very tedious. I had looked at so many houses, and none of them felt right. When I created my vision board I was drawn to these pictures of a home with these crisp white walls. They seemed simple and elegant, they resonated with my soul, so onto the board they went. Three weeks into the year, the day of my thirty first birthday, I walked into a house, and as I was looking around a peaceful knowing came over my soul, this was my home. I didn’t pick up on it in that moment, but later on I was looking at my vision board, when it clicked. The house, my house, was full of tall, white, and simply elegant walls. My soul knew what I wanted all along, and through my vision board, it was able to show me exactly what that was.

Across the middle of my vision board I had created a large cutout of the word Entrepreneur. Again, I didn’t really know what that looked like, or what it meant for me, but onto the board it went for life to sort it all out. This one wasn’t as easy though. I struggled trying to figure out what business was really right for me. In March I created an LLC to do some side recruiting through. Recruiting is what I know, it’s what I’m good at, so it made sense that I create a business around that. Or did it?

A friend and former colleague of mine also started recruiting for himself about the same time. Except he was really going for it. We conversed a lot about how to go about the business, the ins and outs of taxes, legalities, contracts, etc. It didn’t take long for me to notice… that I really didn’t care about my business the way that he cared about his. It didn’t motivate me. It didn’t inspire me. That was a problem. That was a big problem.

In early March, I went to a talk by Derek Loudermilk that was called “Live the Life of your Dreams:¬†The Top 10 Ways To Earn Money Online And Travel The World”. I was very intrigued by the message in Derek’s talk. He talked about various ways to make money through blogging, speaking, pod casting, coaching, and even creating and marketing online courses. These were all things that heavily piqued my interest. I already had a blog, I was always signing up for other people’s online life courses, and to imagine myself out giving a speech somewhere someday, possibly even a Ted talk… sent chills down my spine. This was what I wanted to do, this was the life of my dreams!!

The day after going to Derek’s talk, I got a random idea to host a Vision Board Class. I didn’t know what it would look like, or who would even want to attend, but I knew the New Moon was coming up and that was the best day of the month to plant an intention, so I created a Facebook event for the April New Moon, and hoped for the best. The night of my class, I had four girlfriends that came over. As soon as I saw the group of ladies that I would have, my heart felt so full, and so right. These were all women that I respected tremendously, who were all working hard at figuring out their own goals, and whom I knew that this class could truly help within their pursuits. It was an amazing and inspiring night.

A few weeks later, I set up a call with this Derek Loudermilk character. At the end of his talk, he had passed around a sign up sheet offering a free consultation to anyone there who wanted to talk. After seeing how inspiring my vision board class was, I wanted to talk to him and get his opinion on what kind of business I should potentially create. My one hour call turned into three hours, as Derek helped me work my way through some of my own self limiting blocks and beliefs that no one else in my life had been bold enough to call me out about to my face. My ego didn’t like him… which is exactly why my soul hired him right then and there.¬†Working with Derek was a big financial commitment though, and again, my ego wasn’t totally on board. So I postponed our first official meeting until July so I would have enough time to wrap my ego and my brain around how the hell I was actually going to pay for him.

When I moved into my house, in the back of my mind, I had this idea that I could rent part of my it out on AirBNB. I knew I didn’t want permanent roommates, but I was totally okay with temporary guests, and even welcomed the thought of playing host to out of towners. So, with two months to secure my financial stability, and make sure I could really afford the commitment I had made, I went to work! I spent June and July getting beds, sheets, towels, and more, to turn my house into a real BNB. It was a lot of work, but it felt good, it felt right, and most of all it made me feel alive.

My first meeting with Derek came mid July. He was curious why I hadn’t posted my BNB yet. It wasn’t ready, it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t have pictures, I didn’t have a system figured out, I needed more time! My perfectionism needed more time. Derek challenged my objections though and pushed me to get the house listed by August 1st. Now my perfectionism had a choice: post it as it was… which wasn’t totally perfect, or fail to meet my first goal. I wasn’t about to be a failure, so I gave in and decided it was good enough to post. I listed the house on August 1st, my first guests checked in on August 5th. I was terrified. They were 5 kids from the UK who were finishing up a stint at a Summer Camp and had 5 days to kill in St. Louis before returning home. They had never used AirBNB, and were pretty much as clueless as I was about how exactly it was going to go. So we learned together. I learned that having house rules were important. They learned that eating your hosts food is a big no no. Lol. We had fun.¬†Within my first month on AirBNB I made enough to pay my commitment to Derek, and still had extra to cover all my utilities. Every month since I have made enough to continue to cover my coaching costs and my most of utilities as well.

Dream Count
Soul: 1   Ego: 0

AirBNB wasn’t my end game though, that was simply one branch of the tree. My vision board class was another branch. My blog a third branch. Astrology, a passion of mine that was quickly becoming very useful to me, I knew would factor into this tree as well. While we’re on passions, there is also the topic of my comedy and storytelling, where do these fit in on my tree? Ahh, those go into the speaker branch. You know that dream of giving a TED talk that sent chills down my spine after Derek’s first talk? Yes, that is an important branch indeed. What else? Hmmm… Well, what I really want is to be someone’s Derek, calling out people’s ego’s and making them see how the only thing that is limiting them… is themselves. The more I got into astrology, and understanding my own innate talents and gifts, the more I have come to accept that this is actually something that I am very good at. I can see the bigger picture very clearly, and I’m great at meeting people on their level and talking to them in a way where they instinctively know they can trust me, and know that I have their best interests at heart. Which I do, and which is why being a coach is exactly what I need to be doing.

Dream Count
Soul: 6   Ego: 0

This year I figured out my dreams, and I learned to believe in myself enough to make them happen. Which, if that isn’t the truest definition of an Entrepreneur, then I don’t know what is.

So what about that third goal, a rock solid love? Those who know me well, know that love has been a struggle for me my entire life. Not for lack of trying, and not for a lack of suitors though, no, my struggle with love has always been with my ability to love myself. Until this year, until Derek called my ego out, and showed me how my thoughts and my words shaped this entire unlovable persona that I thought I was, I never really admitted that I didn’t love myself. When in fact, I didn’t just not love myself, but my self hatred ran quite deep. This was because I had deep hurts, deep wounds, deep pain, that I had never really acknowledged. I was always quite content to just always keep pretending I was fine. I saw no value in recognizing these things. In fact, it made me angry to even think about it. Well, it made my ego angry. You see, my ego, is the perfectionist, and for it to acknowledge my own imperfection made it quite hostile. I spent many nights this year alone in my home, quite literally screaming through that anger. Digging into it, understanding it, processing it, and thankfully slowly letting it go. Little by little, as I have let my anger go, as I have learned to understand the why behind my heavy emotions, I have slowly learned to love the imperfect woman that was beneath all of that hate. I have learned to love her something quite fierce actually. She is strong. She is kind. She is wise beyond her years. She is quite simply incredible.¬†I can say all of that without hesitation now, because she IS the rock solid love I have been so desperately looking for.

Let’s go back to those vision board goals again:¬†Buy a house (I¬† moved into my house on 3/17), Start a business (Achieved on 4/7, and again on 8/1, and again on 12/4.. and again and again and again), and Find a Rock Solid Love (All year long baby). Supporting goals around those ideas included: Conquering my addictions (I was sober 1/1 – 5/4, drank like a fish in May, realized why I got sober again by June, and have only let myself have wine ever since), Improving my self-esteem (Self love all day), Seeing beyond the limits of my ego (thank you Derek), being fearless (DOING ALL OF THIS REQUIRED ME TO BE MORE FEARLESS THAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN), Finishing What I Start (AirBNB), and last, but certainly not least, Healing (Working through anger, working through pain, coming out full of self love on the other side).

Wow.

2017… you changed my life.

It all started with a vision, a prayer, a hope. That is really all you ever really need. The Universe will always conspire to take care of the rest. ūüôā

Sending you all so much love and light, as always,

– Christine

P.S. If you are in the St. Louis area, join me Sunday December 17th from 2-5 PM for my next vision board class! Come plant YOUR dream seeds for 2018!!

 

 

Last night marked the beginning of what I can feel is going to be an incredible journey for my life.

I hosted a Vision Board class in my home last night. For those not familiar, a vision board can be many things, but it’s purpose is to create a concrete visual of the goals, dreams, and energies that you want to attract in your life. When we have something with those things on it, where we can look at it everyday, and remain focused on what it is that we truly want in our lives, it adds to the power and momentum which is required to bring those things to fruition in our lives.

On a whim, a month or so ago, I decided that I wanted to do a vision board class. I honestly didn’t know what to expect, or how it was going to shape up, but I knew that the New Moon brings the perfect energy for manifesting goals and intentions, so I set the class for the next New Moon, created a Facebook event, invited everyone I knew, and waited to see what happened.

As time drew closer I started researching the energy of this specific New Moon, which was in Taurus. Reading about the patient, grounded energy that Taurus brings, and how it can help us to figure out where we really want to focus our time and attention in life, I knew that the class was going to have all of the energy and exact vibes that I was looking for it to create, both for myself, and for others. It truly all came together very nicely.

Teaching the class last night taught me two things about myself: 1) While I have resisted following in my mother’s footsteps of teaching thus far in my life, there IS in fact an inner kindergarten teacher inside of me who absolutely loves to create fun, inspirational, and crafty learning experiences for people. And 2) There is totally an inner guru inside of me who loves¬†explaining the energy currents, leading meditations, and inspiring people to think outside the box.

I’ll be honest, I have so many ideas and dreams about what I want to do in this life, and lately I have been feeling a bit lost as to what it is I TRULY want to do. What is my core mission? What do I want to focus on? I have been asking myself those questions for the past few weeks trying to figure that out.¬†The answer I have been getting is that I want to inspire people. Which, is great, but what does that mean? What does that look like?

Last night I learned what that looks like. It looks like¬†me directing a group of very smart, inspired, forward thinking women on how to work with the current energies of universe in order to best visualize and set their focus and intentions for the month ahead. My strengths lie in three key areas: 1) Socializing/Networking 2) Planning/Organizing and 3) Outside the Box Thinking. When you combine all of those with the goal of wanting to inspire people… you get one bad ass vision board class teacher. ūüôā

I definitely don’t think that vision boarding is where this stops either. It is a great class, and I will definitely be doing it again, probably on a monthly basis actually. However, what last night really showed me is that I am on exactly the right track with what I want to do with my life. I¬†felt alive last night in the best way possible. Now all I want is to help everyone else in the world feel that same way, which is exactly what I was put here to do.

I. Can. Not. Wait!!!!

Here are some of the finished products of last night:

Visions

Stay blessed all,

– Christine

 

 

A few weeks ago I was talking with my step mom about how I was excited to get to decorate my new house. Rarely did I decorate or put much thought into the comfort of my surroundings in the many apartments I have lived in over the past 10 years, so the thought now of actually getting to nest, and decorate a space to reflect who I am, is really exciting. As I was talking to her about this, she had an aha moment, and went to grab a little book for me. The book was¬†“Feng Shui Do’s & Taboo’s” By Angi Ma Wong. Upon first glance into the book it seemed like it was full of great tips for how to channel positive energy into your space, so I was super excited to read it. I immediately went to go read it and make a list of all of the things I needed to know to create good energy in my home.

Four hours later it was 1:30 AM and I was having a full on mental break down as I was reading about all of the bad ju ju my new house was going to bring me because of all the Don’ts on the list that my house contained. My bathroom falls into 4 major Don’t areas including being under a stair case, being outside the natural perimeter of the house, being across from the kitchen, and even more specifically DIRECTLY across from the stove which is a HUGE no no, and it falls into the Southeast sector of the house, which means I’m going to end up flushing all of my wealth literally down the drain. Now there are remedies to many of these situations, however, the more I read about the remedies, the more I realized that some of them contradicted the remedies of the other problems that the bathroom contained, so that is when panic set in as I realized there may not be much I can do to correct all of the bad ju ju in my bathroom. Not only that, there is a lot of conflicting information online, so it seems impossible to know what is actually the right remedy for any specific situation.¬†By 2AM, I had to close my lap top, put the book away, and just start taking deep breaths to remind myself it was all going to be okay.

My first hour studying Feng Shui, I thought it was going to be simple and fun, but by hour 4, I realized that I was in way over my head. It is actually a very in depth and complicated art, that if done wrong can bring much bad luck into one’s life. However, as with everything I find myself drawn too, I take it all with a grain of salt.

The next day I ordered several smudge sticks so that I could at least be sure to clear the house of any existing negative energies first thing. Then I also ordered a metallic dusted amethyst crystal. Why this crystal? Well 1) it is gorgeous, but 2) the amethyst helps strengthen intuition and psychic abilities, while the metal element helps bring in added clarity. I figured there has to be a common ground that I can find for this whole bathroom energy debacle, but that I may need some extra angelic intuition and guidance to find it.¬†Also, I found the name of a good Feng Shui consultant just in case I do find my wealth has started draining out of my life once I move into the new place. So either way, I’ve got my bases covered.

Check out this crystal though…

amethyst

I obtained it from Aurafy, excellent site, I highly recommend checking her out if you are looking for some unique crystals!!

So, bottom line, when you all come to visit my new house at some point, now you will know why my first floor bathroom is going to look like a gypsy lives in it. Mirrors, glitter lamps, snake grass plants, earth tones, bowls of pebbles, and lots of terra cotta. It will be the room with the most character to it that’s for sure.¬†Anything to keep the good vibes¬†flowing. ūüôā

Thanks for reading all, happy Tuesday vibes!!

– Christine

I’ve decided that I’m not so much interested in finding a man for romantic purposes as I am interested in having a dual income stream. Yes, love, happiness, having a life partner, all sound like wonderful things. However, dual income is the biggest non talked about benefit¬†of coupling up. Can you imagine having 2x the income with basically the same living expenses??? I mean sure, food costs may increase a bit, but not a whole person’s salary worth. Think of the travel opportunities. The home buying potential. The pure ability to piss away money like you just don’t care!! You know what I’d buy? Well first, I’d buy the dream house that is about $50k outside of my home buying budget right now. Secondly though, I’d buy a float tank. Meditation at it’s finest!! Yes it’d cost about $20k, to float into meditative bliss everyday, but who the hell cares when you have twice the income!!! I’m not talking a dual income with children to deal with either. I’m talking two thirty somethings, 5-7 years into their careers, making good money, with plenty of time to do as they please. That sounds like the good life to me. Finding a perfect mate puts a lot of pressure people. When you think of it in terms of simply finding a partner to split finances with though?? Well that’s easy, software developers to the front of the line please! I’d have to put in a caveat that you do have to have somewhat of a personality though. Vacations with someone with no personality would just suck.

So, that’s my 2017 dating plan. Income based partner selection.¬†Show me your pay stub, let’s make this happen already! Mama’s got her eye on a nice house in Benton Park with a basement big enough to put the float tank in, and all she needs is most of your salary to make it happen!

(This post is mostly¬†satire… mostly. Lol.)

Keep dreaming my singleton’s!

– Christine