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Archive for March 2017

The yard at my new house is not very big, and also has no space for a shed or somewhere to store a large lawn mower. So as I was perusing the let go app last week, I came across an ad for an old push mower and thought that might just be perfect for my small yard! Knowing nothing about the old push mowers though, I turned to Google to give me some answers. I needed to know if it was light enough that I could carry down the steps to my basement, what kind of maintenance it required, and how well it actually cuts grass. After doing a little research I found that most are fairly light weight, and that they do eventually need blade sharpening, which can be expensive and hard to find places that actually do it. Other tips I came across were to not let the grass get super long, as it doesn’t cut long grass well, and that you may have to mow in various directions to get all the grass.

After one week in the house, my grass was getting long, and without a big budget, the $25 push mower on this app was looking pretty good (especially since I could move it with my car), so I went and bought it. As soon as I got home with the mower I went straight to work in the yard to see if this thing was gonna cut it, literally, lol. After spending five minutes trying to push it in the wrong direction, I finally realized what was happening, flipped the handle to the other side, and pushed away. Twenty minutes later, my yard was mowed! No gas, no bagging, no problems!

It did take some arm strength to power through, but I’m excited to have a new arm work out, as my arms could definitely use it.

Bottom line: I’m super excited about my little push mower, and the fact that I can mow my yard in only twenty minutes. Last night (a week and half after the fist mow), I realized at 7:15 PM that it might be my only day with a break in the rain that would allow me to mow. I had plans at 8:00 as well. No sweat on either front, I quickly pulled my little mower out of the basement, took a few runs up and down the yard, and I was done!


Anyways, that’s the latest on my house progress. I’m pretty into yard mowing with the push mower. ☺

Happy Thursday all!!

– Christine

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Within all of my spiritual avenues that I have pursued lately, one thing that has shown to be a constant across all religions and spiritual practices, is the practice of tithing. Tithing is the act of giving 10% (or more, but not less), of your earnings either to the church, to a charity, or to some other person who is in need. The principle of tithing is that whatever you give away, will come back to you in ways that are much greater than money.

My mother, a devout Christian, has tithed all of my life. She has always given 10% and trusted that God would provide for us in moments when maybe that extra 10% would have come in handy for her. I have seen first hand, how her belief and faith in God to provide for our family, has continuously blessed our family in moments where we didn’t know how we would make it through.

In my Kabbalah classes, they touched upon the importance of tithing. They emphasized that 10% is the minimum level that one should contribute in order to see and receive the intangible effects that tithing inevitably brings. They noted that 10% can be hard at first, so working your way up to that amount slowly is fine, just know that 10% is really where spirit can start to work through you, and in turn where you will receive the most blessings back into your life. They also mention that giving of one’s time in community services is just as important. As a note on tithing, they teach that tithing removes any blockages that may block the flow of blessings into our lives. By detaching ourselves from the physical world, and money, and giving of it freely, we allow ourselves to be more of an open channel by which blessings can easily flow and also be received.

Growing up in a very strict Christian church, I will admit, I always felt as though when the pastor would preach on tithing and anything related to money really, that the church was a bit money hungry. It is actually one of the major things that turned me off from church. However, as I have explored my spirituality in other areas, the subject of tithing is a constant in all spiritual avenues, and after really digging into it in my Kabbalah class, I understood it much better from a perspective of how it benefits my life (vs. just the church).

At a woman’s night at my friend’s church the other night the speaker, Nicole Crank, said something which finally put tithing into perspective for me in a way where I just got it. Which was that our donation/money offering is buying us the things that cannot be bought. The thought of parting with 10% of my income is much more tolerable when I know that I am certain what I am really doing is investing that 10% into miracles and blessings.

Not only that, but seeing my money go to someone in need… that is a joy all on its own. Helping other people feels good. You just have to shift out of the mind set that it is your money. Sure, it is your money in one sense, but really it is not. All of our money comes from God and Spirit and us utilizing our innate gifts and talents to make a living. What we make, we shouldn’t see as ours, but as a gift from God. How we contribute those gifts back to the world dictates the blessings we continue to see in our lives.

Today is the new Moon in Aries, which brings focus to new beginnings and eliminating old negative thought patterns. My intention for this new moon is to start giving back more, of both my time and money. I have gotten to a place where I know that giving what I have will bless me back, and so I have no fear in parting ways with my time or money in the name of blessing others. I know it will bless me, others, and ultimately the consciousness of the world, and I am excited and grateful to see where this journey takes me.

Much love and light to you all!

– Christine

I haven’t posted in a week or so because I’ve been busy getting moved into my new house! I am finally all in though and I’m just so overwhelmed with gratitude. 

I’m so grateful for my amazing realtor, Jennifer Dietz, who was there for me every stressful step of getting to close on this house. Jen went above and beyond, and because she is so good, I was able to not stress nearly as much as I would have been if I wasn’t 100% confident that my realtor was absolutely on the ball. If you are looking to buy or sell in the St. Louis area, Jen D Realty is the place to go!

I’m grateful for my friends, who showed up at my house the night I closed with some NA bubbly and all the pep I needed to pump me up after a stressful few days trying to close. 

I’m so grateful to my mom and my sister who came over on St. Patrick’s Day, which is also my moms birthday, and not only brought some great food, a table and chair set, but also buckets of cleaning supplies and some elbow grease to help me give the house a good scrub down. After I got all moved in, I was starving and I went to my fridge and almost cried because I just felt so lucky to have a mom and a sister so sweet to make sure I had plenty of food to eat for my first week. 

I’m grateful to my step mom for all of her love and support over the past few months, as well as her infinite wealth of knowledge and books for all my pressing questions on life. She also graciously gifted me with some sage to cleanse the new house of spirits and bad vibes!

Last, but certainly not least, my dad. I am so incredibly grateful for everything this man has done for me throughout my life, but to know at 31 I can still ask my dad for anything and he will make it happen, is such a blessing. Had he not opened his door for me to come live at home (without paying a scent!), I never would have been able to make my home buying dream come true. Without his guidance and dad wisdom while house shopping, I wouldn’t have been able to be so confident in the house that I found. Without his humor and problem solving I wouldn’t have been able to navigate my closing as well. My dad also parted with his large collection of tools, as he wanted me to have them at my house, because well, I’m gonna need them, lol. Not to mention he gifted me with a new washer and a de-humidifier for the house as well. Dad, you truly are the best dad I could have ever asked for, and I am so grateful to be your daughter. 

Without all of these people and their love and support over the past year of this journey I would not be at this place. I would not have my home. So to you all, and to all those that helped along the way… thank you. I can’t say enough, I love you all so much, and I am so so grateful to you.

I am finally home!!


With love and gratitude,

– Christine

A few years ago I began to acknowledge the benefits of my white privilege that I experience on a daily basis. As a white woman, I am not generally judged, or discriminated against by society on a regular basis such as people of color are. Since realizing how deep and far reaching the benefits of my white skin are, I have been on a bit of a mission to educate white people of their white privileged thoughts and ways, that are ultimately hindering our ability to achieve equality in America.

As you might expect, white people don’t like being told how privileged they are though. Especially when they feel they have led a normal life, made themselves into something out of nothing, and generally worked hard for their own success and achievements in life. Which is all great… however, that doesn’t mean they didn’t receive benefits along the way, or avoided pit falls and discrimination, because their skin is white. This is simply how our American society is currently set up, to benefit people with white skin. This can be seen with the systemic racism that permeates every facet of our government, criminal justice systems, history lessons, and society.

Today I had an interesting conversation with a friend though, that brought about the problem with calling people out on their white privilege. Which is that it only serves to add more friction and division to the conversation, when the end goal is actually unity. That’s not to say that white privilege isn’t real, or a problem, but rather that more people would actually be able to come to that conclusion on their own if the conversation was focused more on the issue of our division in the country, and how that is the real problem we are facing.

You see we are controlled by an elite group of white men who have only their own interests at heart. So unless you are a rich white male, society is not working entirely in your favor. Which is not to say that white people at any level aren’t still benefiting from white privilege in certain ways, however, unless you are part of the elite upperclassman, you are ultimately being hurt by the division that white privilege is promoting just as much as anyone else. The elites want the rest of us divided, because that is how they can continue to manipulate and control us and ultimately stay in power.

So the end result of the conversation with my friend was that I concluded that me pushing propaganda which calls out white privilege, is actually not serving to help the cause in the way that I ultimately want. What I ultimately want is for people to become united. So instead I will now be looking for things that are focused on promoting the attitudes of unity and equality without tearing down any one side in the process. The more we can promote the idea that we are all one unified body, the more people will come to their own acknowledgement of how their attitude, behavior, and bias towards others based on any racial or socioeconomic factors, is prohibiting their ability to see their fellow man as equal. Within that movement, I believe things such as the unfair balances of white privilege will become apparent and then can be addressed in a less divisive manner.

To pit ourselves against each other in the fight for unity, is only serving to further the hatred in this country. We should all simply be focused on how we can promote unity and equality and come together in love within our own lives and worlds. The more we focus on unity, the less attention we are giving to the negative issues on both sides. There is only one mission really, and its been clear all along; United we stand, divided we fall. It’s time now to make a stand.

Thoughts of love and unity to you all,

– Christine

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Energetically speaking, there is a lot going on in the universe right now.

First off, Venus is retrograde at the moment, which because Venus is the ruler of love and relationships, we may be feeling a bit confused about that area of our lives right now. Conflicted feelings about past relationships could be surfacing as well. I know I have been feeling conflicted things about my previous love, just when I thought I was finally getting over him. I’m not sure what it means, but I am focusing on having patience with my thoughts and focusing on understanding the feelings I still have that are creating them. That way I can find the lesson that still remains to be found there.

The Full Moon in Virgo last night combine with Venus in retrograde is pulling our focus to look within ourselves. To think about who we truly are, what we really value, and what is worth our energy in life. I have been feeling this as well, as lately I have been becoming aware of my scattered energetic efforts to do so much, and the realization that I need to figure out what it is I truly want and then focus all of my energy on that area, instead of trying to do and be everything. I’m a blogger, a comedian, a recruiter, an astrologer, and a healer… but I can’t do all of those things well when I try to be them all, so I need to pick an area and focus.

On top of it all we are in the month of Pisces, so there is so much energy around emotions making us all overly emotional. I have felt this very much lately. I have cried more times this month than I have the past 6 months combined probably. Sometimes over the smallest upsets. I feel like I could cry right now to be honest, and nothing is even really wrong.

The key to navigating all of these strong energies right now, is to focus within. Have patience with yourself, and be aware that your emotions and strong feelings are being brought up now for you to examine them and find the depth of the lessons behind them.

So if you find yourself feeling some of this, just be conscious to take everything with a grain of salt right now. Focus on yourself as you can’t control the world. Give in to the flow of the Universe, and trust in it. Remember you are doing the best you can, and that you are amazing, always.

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Thanks for reading lovelies, have a good Monday!

– Christine

 

It’s happened to most of us. You are minding your own business on Facebook, when you notice an acquaintance has commented on a friend’s post. Seeing that person’s name, you get curious and click on them to see what they have been up to lately. Then to your shock and awe, you realize that you can’t see their profile anymore because they defriended you! This person wasn’t someone you talked to much, maybe you see them out and about from time to time, you’re always friendly in passing, so how could this have come to be?  Your mind starts racing, did I do something to them? Was it something I posted? What could have possibly sent them so far as to defriend me?? As your mind races, you start to immediately resent them, even though you have no idea why, you just can’t help but to feel betrayed by this person you sort of, kind of know.

Do you reach out? Do you try to re-friend them only to risk being rejected twice? Do you straight up ask them, hey, what the hell happened here?

The course of action depends mostly on who you are as a person, and also how much this acquaintance really means to you, but nonetheless, finding out you have been defriended by someone stings.

Even in cases where it might be warranted, such as an ex love, or a friend who you have had a falling out with, someone you know who doesn’t want to see your face anymore, and with good reason, it still kinda hurts. It’s a finite ending to your friendship effectively.

It’s funny when you think about it, but this is the world we live in now! Cyber space friending and defriending is real life, and it hurts when someone actively chooses to shut you out of their life, whatever the reason.

In reality who knows if it was something personal or simply someone trying to scale back their friend list and clean up their news feed. You never know. It’s so silly that we can put so much meaning and drama to something so abstract and unreal though.

For me it is simply a test of the universe to see if I am perhaps too attached to my social media. So when I noticed this week that an acquaintance had defriended me, after my initial, “BUT WHY????” paranoia wore off, I calmly told myself it did not matter why, the whole thing was irrelevant, because real life is all that actually matters, and in real life, I know if I saw this person again we would talk, laugh, and be just fine, no matter what the defriending scenario was that occurred.

It’s too easy to get caught up in the unreal reality that social media creates these days, but I think the key is to remember that none of it actually matters. What matters is real life, and how you act and treat people that you encounter in your real world every day. If you know you treat people with kindness and respect (which if you do that in your everyday life, it should translate into your online persona too), then you will know you have nothing to be concerned about. It is important to remember that social media can be a great extension of who you are, but it shouldn’t become you, and it definitely shouldn’t be something that you let play with your emotions. Reserve your reactions for real life, because that is what is actually real.

Food for thought!

– Christine

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Check out Part One: The What… for the first part of this little talk.

Part Two: The Why…

I wished the surgery stories ended there, but there are a few more WTF details that I’d be amiss if I didn’t share.

Over my winter break my freshman year of college, I did a dumb thing guys. I decided that going snow skiing would be a good idea. My parents told me not to, and that it was a terrible idea… but I was invincible, and I wasn’t about to listen. Sure enough, at the end of the day of skiing, I was going down the hill, the snow was getting icy, I started going way too fast. I got to the bottom of the hill and shot out far into some snow that hadn’t been skied on all day. As I tried to curve back around to the lift, I hit a bump, snap, pop, and I was down. I remember trying to move my leg, and when I did, the top part moved… but the bottom part didn’t. Memories of my wonkity hip, and the plate, and all my former surgeries flooded my mind as I wondered if they would ever be able to piece me back together again. It was not pretty, and it involved surgery with doctors totally unfamiliar with my leg history, as I was skiing about three hours away from my home, but they got me put back together and my right femur is now a full metal rod. She works great though, and looking at me now you’d never guess I have nearly as much metal in my legs as I do. The leg surgeries end there though, thankfully.

What about that rare never before seen tumor though? Yeah, let’s go back to that for a minute. At the age of 26 I was working as an IT recruiter. One day I called a woman who lived outside of the state, as she had applied for a job I was working on. As I was talking to this woman, I started digging into why she wanted to move to St. Louis. She began to tell me she was moving back because several of her family members were diagnosed with pancreatic  cancer, and she had already lost two family members to the same thing. She went on to tell me how she had done a bunch of research into the issue and had determined that it was because they had all grown up next to Coldwater Creek in North County, St. Louis. She continued to tell me how the pancreatic cancer rates in North County were astronomically higher than anywhere else in St. Louis, and how she believed that it was all linked to the recent stories that had broke on the contamination in Coldwater Creek. I knew what she was referring to as it had just recently been in the news that it was discovered that there were Uranium waste disposal sites from the 1940’s located in St. Louis which had potentially leaked into the local ground water in North County through Coldwater Creek. It had not been noted in the news though about the increased cancer cluster rates. As this woman was talking to me I began to realize something. As soon as we got off the phone, I looked up the address of the house that I was born in, which was in North County. When I did… I saw that my childhood house was located two blocks away from Coldwater Creek.

I sat there stunned. Suddenly the bigger picture of life began to really set in. I have no doubt in my mind my never before seen pancreatic tumor that developed on my ovary is in some way linked to me living next to Coldwater Creek during the beginning years of my life. I was exposed to something which gave me a death sentence at a very early age in life… but God stepped in and worked his magic to divinely save my life. From my deep seated love of volleyball, all the way through each one of my surgeries, down to the miraculously messed up screw… it all happened for a reason.

I cannot describe how incredibly blessed, humble, and grateful that makes me feel, every day of my life.

As if that wasn’t enough though… A year ago I obtained my old medical records from my doctors. After reviewing them, I decided to google the very long medical name for my tumor. Google produced me back one article. Despite knowing that I was the first known instance of this tumor, I was still not prepared to click on this article and read about myself. However, that is exactly what happened. It described three known instances of this tumor being found. The first was a 17 year old female (that’s me!) in 2004, and then two others had been diagnosed with the same thing, one in 2009, and one in 2010. It referenced my oopharectomy (which is what you call an ovary removal by the way) and that I had gone on to lead a healthy life. The second person, from 2009, suffered complications of continued tumor growth, and did not survive. The third patient also had continued tumor growth and did not survive. I was the only survivor of this specific type of growth. Again, I sat in front of my computer absolutely stunned.. this time for quite a few hours.

A few weeks ago, I went to a Psychic who specializes in Numerology. When she calculated my life path as a one,  she quickly apologized as she let me know that ones always have very hard lives, and most don’t live long lives. Women with a life path of one in particular frequently suffer from issues with the reproductive organs. She told me about a grand baby she had, and as soon as she was born, she knew she wasn’t going to live long. She had the curse of the ones, and sure enough her grand baby died at age 5 from cancer.

As she told me this, she looked at me very curiously though, and she said, “You’re lucky though, aren’t you?”

“Yes,… Yes, I am beyond lucky indeed.”

“There’s a reason for that,” she said, “there’s a plan for you, I don’t know quite what, but you will figure it out, the universe will make sure of that.”

“I know it will.”

And I do. I know that my life was saved by divine intervention for a specific reason. There is no doubt in my mind about that, and my whole life I have always felt a drive to find that reason and that purpose. I haven’t come upon the full reason yet in life, but I am not worried, I know the Universe is working everyday to get me ready for what I am ultimately here to do.

So I don’t fully know my why as of yet… but I will be sure to keep you all posted as my journey progresses. I do know it is not a coincidence that I am a writer. My journey through life was absolutely meant to be shared, and it is my hope that my words will always serve to inspire those who read them.

Today’s inspiration?

As cliche as it may sound, I cannot stress it enough, everything happens for a reason. Every perceived set back, is simply the Universe conspiring to get you where you truly need to be. Please understand and believe that. Trust in the divine guidance that is working everyday to create greatness in this world. Do not worry, do not waste energy being upset. Roll with the punches, and you will quickly see, what is meant for you will always be. What passes you by, was never in your best interest. The more people realize this and begin to truly trust in the flow of the universe, the less worry and stress we will all begin to see.

I hope my journey helps show just how true that message really is.

Trust. It will all work out as it is meant to be.

Much love all,

– Christine

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