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Archive for February 2017

A few weeks ago I was talking with my step mom about how I was excited to get to decorate my new house. Rarely did I decorate or put much thought into the comfort of my surroundings in the many apartments I have lived in over the past 10 years, so the thought now of actually getting to nest, and decorate a space to reflect who I am, is really exciting. As I was talking to her about this, she had an aha moment, and went to grab a little book for me. The book was “Feng Shui Do’s & Taboo’s” By Angi Ma Wong. Upon first glance into the book it seemed like it was full of great tips for how to channel positive energy into your space, so I was super excited to read it. I immediately went to go read it and make a list of all of the things I needed to know to create good energy in my home.

Four hours later it was 1:30 AM and I was having a full on mental break down as I was reading about all of the bad ju ju my new house was going to bring me because of all the Don’ts on the list that my house contained. My bathroom falls into 4 major Don’t areas including being under a stair case, being outside the natural perimeter of the house, being across from the kitchen, and even more specifically DIRECTLY across from the stove which is a HUGE no no, and it falls into the Southeast sector of the house, which means I’m going to end up flushing all of my wealth literally down the drain. Now there are remedies to many of these situations, however, the more I read about the remedies, the more I realized that some of them contradicted the remedies of the other problems that the bathroom contained, so that is when panic set in as I realized there may not be much I can do to correct all of the bad ju ju in my bathroom. Not only that, there is a lot of conflicting information online, so it seems impossible to know what is actually the right remedy for any specific situation. By 2AM, I had to close my lap top, put the book away, and just start taking deep breaths to remind myself it was all going to be okay.

My first hour studying Feng Shui, I thought it was going to be simple and fun, but by hour 4, I realized that I was in way over my head. It is actually a very in depth and complicated art, that if done wrong can bring much bad luck into one’s life. However, as with everything I find myself drawn too, I take it all with a grain of salt.

The next day I ordered several smudge sticks so that I could at least be sure to clear the house of any existing negative energies first thing. Then I also ordered a metallic dusted amethyst crystal. Why this crystal? Well 1) it is gorgeous, but 2) the amethyst helps strengthen intuition and psychic abilities, while the metal element helps bring in added clarity. I figured there has to be a common ground that I can find for this whole bathroom energy debacle, but that I may need some extra angelic intuition and guidance to find it. Also, I found the name of a good Feng Shui consultant just in case I do find my wealth has started draining out of my life once I move into the new place. So either way, I’ve got my bases covered.

Check out this crystal though…

amethyst

I obtained it from Aurafy, excellent site, I highly recommend checking her out if you are looking for some unique crystals!!

So, bottom line, when you all come to visit my new house at some point, now you will know why my first floor bathroom is going to look like a gypsy lives in it. Mirrors, glitter lamps, snake grass plants, earth tones, bowls of pebbles, and lots of terra cotta. It will be the room with the most character to it that’s for sure. Anything to keep the good vibes flowing. 🙂

Thanks for reading all, happy Tuesday vibes!!

– Christine

I have always written throughout my life, whether it be journals, or poems, or letters that never get sent, writing has always been an outlet for my soul. However, I haven’t always seen or acknowledged myself as a writer. Up until a few years ago, I used to think that being a writer meant being an author, or a journalist, or someone who got paid to write basically. It simply didn’t feel right to call myself a writer when I didn’t have anything published to show for it.

It was only after digging more into my astrology make up, and my Meyers Briggs personality make up, that I finally started to accept that the reason I am so inclined to write… is because I am a writer.

I have an emotion or a thought, and my instinct is to write it down, work my way through it, figure it out. If nothing else, just get it out of me. Some times I like it, some times I think it’s crap, but regardless the quality does not dictate the validity of the action… in writing, one becomes the writer.

Tonight I started a writing class. I had no idea what to expect. Never have I taken a class directed at writing, since I spent so many years in denial that I am in fact a writer.

The class is small, perfect size for a little writing critique group it seems. The teacher gave us two starting sentences and had us write from there for about 30 minutes. We could write in any fashion that we wanted. It’s always interesting to see what flows out of you in situations like that. After we wrote we all read our pieces out loud for critique, and it was very interesting to see where everyone’s writing had taken them. As we critiqued them, I realized that the teacher wanted us to build on these stories for the next week. It was then that I slightly panicked at the thought of having to stick with this thing that I had written on a whim for the first 30 minutes of class, throughout the course of the 4 week class. If I had known this was THE story, I would have gone a different route. Now I’m stuck with this for 4 weeks??

It was only after I got out of class though, that I fully started to respect the writer’s journey that we had all just embarked on in this class. Yes, what I wrote was not THE story that I want to write about in life, but that doesn’t really matter right now. Right now, I need to focus on unfolding a story, moment by moment, event by event, figuring out the mechanics of writing ANY story. The process involves not only a deep plot but massive creativity to help the reader reach the destination with ease.

Typically, I have been more of a fly by the seat of your pants kind of writer. Although admittedly that is mostly due to procrastination. However, as my friend Tara pointed out the other night, I’m a blogger because I like to make quick observations. Here is this thing, here is what I think about, okay carry on. Which I do quite enjoy.

As a writer though, I have many facets. I write a lot of poetry. I write comedy. I write this blog. I also have many journals that are each for a certain type of writing. It is a bit chaotic I will admit. That is one thing that I am very excited about with getting a house. Having an office with a place for all of my note books. Anyways, as many different ways as I write, it was not until tonight that I think I really appreciated the art of unfolding fiction writing. Fiction is where your world can unfold exactly as you wish it to be for the characters that you create precisely as you want them to be. Fiction is where creativity lives!

My creative flow is exactly what I’ve been missing in most of my writing. I write my truth, I write what I feel, but those involve facts not meant to be bent in my mind.

My creativity finally has permission to be released, this is a whole new ball game!!

I can’t wait to see what other gems this class unfolds. 🙂

Happy Monday all!

– Christine

 

 

A few weekends ago I went to go see a psychic. She was recommended to me by a friend, and I’m an ever curious soul, so I went.

Now when you think of a psychic, a lot of things may come to mind. This lady was none of those things, lol. She lives in a condo in Affton that has Christmas decorations on every square inch of her house and patio. She was 75 years old, and when I went she was rather sick and was coughing a lot. My first thought was to notice everywhere she touched as I didn’t want to catch any germs. However that idea didn’t last long as she demanded I give her my phone so she could be in control of the recording. She also then had tarot cards that she handed me, so quickly I gave in to the fact that I was going to get sick.

I shuffled the cards a bit while she asked me about my birthday and the birthdays of anyone I had questions about. From their birthday she calculated their numerology life path numbers. I am a 1. I knew this going into the session, however, according to astrology I have had many past lives so I had questions around how I could possibly be a 1. Her response was that I’ve had no past lives, that I’m just a baby and as a 1 this was going to be my hardest and toughest life. She went on to say that the only thing that would make me happy in this life would be to find the right man, settle down and have babies.

As someone that has been very independent in life and who has never aspired to have children… this description of how I achieve happiness did not sit well with me. I told her my plan that I would like to be a life coach some day and she told me that I’d never have the experience in this life to do that. More cringe worthy feels to my insides. This visit was going no where along the lines of what I expected.

Then she had me start pulling cards and started rattling off a long list of things. I’ll meet a man, a light skin man, light hair, light eyes, that was coming up and there was no energy good or bad around it. I would be getting a promotion within 7 days, 7 weeks, or 7 months. There was another man, with an energy of 8, perhaps a Leo, who has strong energy around me. Debbie was of importance and I’d hear on that within 10 days. Then a 4 came up, she said I’d be single 4 more years. She said many things.

Then she finished and told me to ask her questions. Coming into the reading I had prepared 10 questions that were, looking back, way too random. I should have focused on questions about what she had just told me. I asked my questions though and some she just couldn’t answer. I could tell that she could tell that I was disappointed though, so she kept trying to focus on my love life and what I could do. Which I guess is normally why women go see a psychic but my reasoning had hardly anything to do with love.

When I left, I honestly felt very defeated and as though I had just wasted $50 to have someone dash all my hopes and dreams. However, in the weeks since I have ruminated on what she said and I have begun to see the deeper meaning behind it all.

First and foremost, my terribly hard life path that I should have as a 1, I can see that while my life could have been much worse, my luck as an Aquarius with Pisces rising has done a great job of turning my challenges in life into beautiful moments. The comment about Debbie? A day later I found out my Aunt Debbie was coming home, 10 days from the reading. I also will be getting a promotion, I’m not sure when, but my guess is that it could very well be 7 months from now, as that is when we have employee reviews. The energy of the man with an 8, I have no doubt relates to a long time ex of mine. I had talked to him recently and so I could see his energy still being around me.

As for me being a life path of 1… it took me a while to accept this, but I’m slowly beginning to. My thinking is that perhaps this is my soul’s first life on Earth… but possibly not it’s first life in the universe. Maybe that’s how this all works? I know I came into this world with certain energies based on events of lives past, I simply feel that to be true. Whether it was my souls energy or last onto me through my parents or some other way though, who can say.

Anyways, I eventually made my peace with the psychic words, but it will be a long time before I venture to go see her again. However, as a client of hers now I can call her anytime to ask about the compatibility of anyone I meet based on their birth date. I appreciate that open line of questioning. Solid business plan from the psychic. Lol.

Happy Sunday all!

– Christine

So its official, and now I can talk about it. I bought a house. 🙂

It’s beautiful. It’s in the city, and its a tall brick house.

It’s everything I set out to have in a house when I first started looking, but after a year of looking I had almost given up hope that I would find what I wanted at the price I could actually afford.

The way it all worked out, I know this home was 100% meant for me too. I tried to go see it at the end of November, but the owner had taken it off the market without telling the real estate agent. As I stood outside it that day, I just had a feeling that this was the house for me… but it wasn’t time yet. In January the owner re listed the house… for $20K less than it was previously listed at! I went and saw it on my birthday, and made an offer that day. After inspections I requested 3 major pieces of work be done to the house (sewer lateral line was collapsing, tuck pointing, and some roof patching). I had no intention of the owner actually fixing all of those things, I just wanted to ask for the moon and hope in the least he would fix the sewer line. After 14 very long days… he agreed to it all.

Everything has fallen into place so well with this house, I know that this house is where I am mean to be.

I put what I wanted out there to the universe, and it conspired to make it happen.

I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude, and joy.

It really hit me over the weekend how much of an accomplishment this is as well.

I bought this house by myself. Me, myself, and I.

It brings me an overwhelming since of accomplishment to say this.

I know plenty of people who have bought houses, but most of them did it with a spouse or with some kind of assistance from someone else. Which is not a knock against them, it’s still a big accomplishment either way.

However, I did this 100% on my own.

It was hard. It required much patience, and sacrifice. But I did it. I made this dream come true for myself.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of myself.

I didn’t settle for the small houses that people kept recommending I buy either. I knew what I wanted was a big, tall, brick house, and I wasn’t going to settle for less.

Now I finally have my dream home.

The last 4-5 apartments I lived in, I never bothered to hang things on the walls because I knew I would be moving out after a year.

I can’t wait to hang a piece of real art in my new home. 🙂

Ahhh! SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

– Christine

 

I know I’m getting pretty behind on my daily writing, however, I’ve been stuck in this weird limbo feeling for the past two weeks as I’ve been waiting to hear back on a situation. I don’t want to talk about it until I know it’s really happening, so because I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve basically not been wanting to really talk about anything. That’s a pretty lame excuse for not writing though, so really I just need to stop letting myself get dissuaded by excuses.

As I have mentioned, I am currently taking classes in Kabbalah which help me better understand the mind and the ego. It’s been extremely transformative for me in terms of understanding my own responsibility in all of my reactions to things in life.

More than that, Kabbalah has taught me a deeper understanding for the universe and the fundamental explanation of why we are in the energetic climate that we are currently experiencing, and what I can do personally in order to better humanity.

Check out this week’s post from Kabbalah Student, Billy Phillips. The video at the end absolutely blew my mind, because I not only understood and believed it to be true, but I felt it was true in my soul. The purpose of all of creation and how we achieve utopia and peace on earth is explained in the video. Which to think that we are in the moment in time where this information is now being disseminated to the masses and a global awakening IS in fact happening… is mind blowingly awesome.

The energy of the world right now is slowly shifting towards realization that we are all one, and what we do to another, we do to ourselves. As we become aware of this, it is my belief that we will rapidly see our world shift towards a place centered in love and peace. Love for all our fellow man kind, just as we love ourselves. Those in positions of power who have been driven by greed and corruption for so long will even be converted to love. The power structure currently in place IS coming down. Trust in that, and know that incredible, amazing, things are starting to happen in our world. We are alive during the conscious awakening of the world, and if we focus on our own awakening and learning during this time we will reap incredible benefits and rewards almost immediately within our lives.

Such an incredible time to be alive.

Sit on that information for a minute and then think about what you are doing to discover and unleash your own gifts to the world right now. Is your path rooted in love? Love of self, and love for your fellow man? That is what your aim should be. To live in love, by following the pull of your heart. Heart centered living. This is the only path forward to true happiness in life.

Not sure how you do this? Start by tuning into your heart. Meditate. Quiet your mind. Tune into your heart. This is the starting point for anyone who is ready to start living the best life they can possibly lead. When you quiet your mind and listen, your heart will guide you to the answers that you need.

If you are in the St. Louis area, and would like to learn how to better focus and meditate, I highly recommend checking out this group, SahajaYoga Meditation, they have a great explanation of meditation, followed by a guided meditation. If you regularly attend their classes (which are free!!) they are very helpful in starting one’s journey with meditation.

If you are in another location, you can check out the main website for Sahaja Yoga Meditation to locate groups worldwide. Classes are free everywhere, as the founder of SahajaYoga, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi says, “Truth cannot be sold, it cannot be purchased”, it is just to be experienced and enjoyed.

Enjoy the truth my friends. Connect with your inner divinity, and live from your heart.

God bless,

– Christine

 

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, let’s just get that out there first thing. I’m irritated by several situations at the moment, the least of them being the fact that my ex boyfriend is seeing someone new, maybe, I don’t even really know I’m just intuitive AF, and have a sense about these things. I’m over him. In fact, a psychic just this weekend told me how completely wrong he is for me, and my only thought was yes, I concur. HOWEVER, upon seeing him befriend a new woman on Facebook this weekend, I lost my shit, because I DON’T KNOW WHY!!! Why does this still bother me? Why can’t I bring myself to de-friend him on FB so I can stay less informed about these kinds of things?? Why, when I know I deserve so much more than he is capable of giving, do I still think about him at all???

This is just my most recent ex boyfriend. I can’t even go into the shit storm of emotions that I still have around the first love of my life. Which that was almost 10 years ago. We only dated for 2 years, but yet every few months we still chit chat and catch up on life, and inevitably once every so often one of us will bring up unresolved feelings that we still have for the other and just put it out there with no intent of anything actually coming of it. It’s great. Very healthy for my mental well being, let me tell you.

Not to mention the men who never really mattered to me that still feel the need to check back around with me like clock work, who I’ve learned to just ignore, because if I didn’t have feelings for them the first time around, I’m not going to develop them now.

Do I have a permanent “Please fuck with me emotionally!” sign taped to my back that I’m not aware of???

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Everything I know about life tells me that I only have all these unresolved feelings around things because I still have something to learn from these people in my life, but it would be really great if life could give me some pointers on what these lessons still left to be learned were.

Then again, block and delete is a message I can recognize, yet I don’t have the heart to do that yet.

Lesson 1: Be more heartless. Working on it.

Lesson 2: Don’t look back. Working on it.

…. The psychic this weekend also let me know I’d be single another 4 years…. WHICH IS FINE, but perhaps that’s why I’m just so fucking over love and anything remotely to do with it at the moment. (And no, I’m not taking the word of a psychic for solid life advice, but I will take it with a grain of salt.)

Most days I am perfectly content with my life, single or attached, I love me, and I know that’s all I need. Then some days an ex resurfaces in my life and makes me question every choice I’ve ever made in my major relationships. Then some days are the day before Valentine’s day and I just want to rant about how much emotional drama I still feel for my ex boyfriends who still have tiny slivers of my heart that I feel like I’m missing.

Emotions aside now.

This isn’t about any person… but me.

When I focus on myself I do fine.

When I take precautions against things that cause me to have irrational emotions I do better.

Lesson learned.

<deleted>

and life moves on.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVE EVERYONE!

– Christine

 

 

When I am present in any given moment, I notice everything in that moment.

I notice the sounds around me, and what they are telling me about the positioning of all who are in motion around me.

I notice the subtle shift of knowing vs. curiosity in people’s eyes when I talk to them.

I notice the deliberate placement of someone’s gaze vs the haphazard wandering of a thoughtless stare.

I notice the thought that is forming in a person’s mind behind the facade of their inactive listening.

I notice the collective energy vibes of a room, and who is influencing those vibes the most.

I notice the endless depth behind the quietest people… and their silent acknowledgement of my knowing of their secret brilliance when our eyes meet and briefly pierce each other’s souls.

I notice the awkward dance that rests in the air between two people who can’t quite seem to figure out the connection between them.

I notice the subtle change of attitude that some feel necessary to use to distract others when they sense someone is becoming too close.

I notice the little things that people do and the little things they used to do.

I notice when your soul isn’t into something any more.

I notice both the calm and the erratic levels that people are vibing at, based on the zen of the air around them.

I notice when you enter a room, and when you leave it.

I notice you silently working up the courage to speak words to that person you’re really into… especially if that person is me.

I notice people who are turning on the charm vs. those who are naturally charming.

I notice those who are aware consciously aware of the fifth dimension, and those who will never quite grasp it.

I notice when you have ulterior motives behind the words coming out of your mouth.

I notice when you are lying.

I notice when you are trying to manipulate someone into thinking your idea is their idea.

I notice your level of confidence by combining the total of your words, your actions, and your silence.

I notice the subtlety of almost everything.

I notice things because I’m intuitive, perceptive, and judgmental. I’ve developed an ego of kindness which lends itself to being a people pleaser, and as such, I learned very early on to pay close attention to people, and all they were saying and not saying, so that I could use that knowledge to get what I wanted from them or the situation, all while making them think my interest is because I only have their best interest at heart. This is not to say that I don’t have their best interest at heart many times, however, self preservation is most always the name of the game.

It’s lonely at times… noticing everything about everyone… while mostly just wanting someone to notice me… and that I am not really what I pretend to be. I long for someone that looks at me in amazement of all the things I can clearly see, with a knowing that they will never quite be able to figure me out. Which may sound tiresome to most, but I’ve learned my best matches are the ones who love the randomness of my ever changing mind. To those few… the reward is the essence of my free spirited heart. For inside the layers of my brilliant mind, is a simple, fun loving girl, with a curiosity as fierce as the winds of a hurricane… that just wants to laugh and play, and make the most of this playground that is our world. A girl who wants to live at the highest levels of consciousness, where nothing of this world can be taken for granted, as it all serves a divine purpose for our chosen path of learning in life. Her, who will simply always want to be watching and be reveling in the orchestra of life… everyday that she is alive.

So… would you like to take notice with me?

– Christine